A Place In This World
by SantanaSnix
Summary: Rachel is finally going to live her dream, to board a train that will take her to the destination of New York City. But, when she finally realises she won't see her love anymore, will it truly be all she ever wanted? This is the first chapter of a multichapter Pezberry fanfic I do no own Glee or any of the characters or songs I use in my fanfic...no copyright intended.
1. Chapter 1 Goodbye

**_Title: A Place In This World Chapter 1 _**

**_Pairing: Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry_**

**_Summary: Rachel is headed to New York on the train to chase her dreams, but when she realizes what...or who she is leaving behind...will her dreams be the same. _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters,I do not own "MINE" by Taylor Swift or any other songs mentioned in my fanfiction. No copyright infridgment intended._**

**_This is my first attempt at a Pezberry Fanfic, I intend this to be a multichapter fanfic and will be putting chapter 2 up after I do some editing to it..._**

**_Please give me any suggestions for the upcoming chapters...I intend for this to be a multiple chapter fanfiction._**

**_Chapter 1: Good-Bye_**

**_I gotta have roots before branches_**

**_To know who I am _**

**_Before I know who I want to be_**

**_And faith to take chances_**

**_To live like I see _**

**_A place in this world for me_**

**_"Goodbye."_**

The last word I heard before I was told to let the love of my life go and surrender…surrender to my dreams and relinquish the love that I had found. A love that has gotten me through the most difficult of times for the past two years. A love that told me I had to go and leave them behind so that I could find myself and be that person that I have always wanted to be…

It's always been my dream, to go to New York after graduation because I Rachel Barbra Berry am going to be on Broadway and be a star. It's what I have always wanted...at least that is what I thought.

"**_Goodbye."_**

I was walking hand in hand with the love of my life getting ready to board the 4:30 train to New York…walking silently as tears streamed down both of our faces…we walk a little farther and there are all of the people that mean so much to me.

All of us Glee kids had gotten so close in the three years that we were together. We were a family. As I hugged each and every one of them, the sobs continued as each one told me to be strong and that they always believed that I would be the one to get out of Lima…

Then there at the end of the long line of well-wishers was my love again…waiting to lead me onto the train that would take me to pursue my dreams…and also take me away from them.

A strong hand grabs mine and we walk to the door that has swung open to let me in…I tremble and sob uncontrollably as my love does the same…

"**_I Love You." _**I managed to say through my sobs.

**_"I Love You too Rachel, Always and Forever…_**

**_Please remember what I said in the car…we will be together…but you have to chase your dreams first…no regrets…just surrender."_**

I am pulled into an intense hug and the softest most beautiful kiss, that I wish could have lasted forever but it was only mere seconds before the train whistled and it was all cut short. I sob even more uncontrollably at what I knew was about to happen.

I looked up at all of my friends and the adults that had been such big supporters of my dreams, Mr. Shue, Ms. Pillsbury, My mom Shelby, both of my dad's, along with Brittany, Mercedes, Quinn, Artie, Tina, Matt, Mike, Puck, Rory, Kurt, Blaine, Lauren, Sugar and even Finn, and gave them my best Rachel Berry smile, and turned away.

I then turn to look at her, still holding my hand as we walk towards the door that will separate us for the first time in 2 years.

My love, my everything, my Santana.

We hold each other for a minute more as the warning bell sounds again and we both break out into even bigger sobs as we try to skip past what has to happen next.

She tells me that we will be together again…in New York if we choose…she will be headed to Kentucky in a couple of weeks, since she received a full ride there. I know that is not what she really wants, but I told her she has to give it a chance.

I lean in for one last kiss…(for now)…and whisper how much I love her and how much I don't want to spend any time away from her. She leans into me again, and sings me a little verse of our favorite song.

**_Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?_**

**_You put your arm around me for the first time._**

**_You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter._**

**_You are the best thing that's ever been mine._**

"**_I love you so much Rachel and this is killing me to let you go, but we will be together, if we are meant to be and I believe in my heart that we are, you will be mine…Forever and Always."_**

**_"I love you too Santana, with all of my heart, and with everything that I am. I will miss you so much."_**

She pulls me in for another hug and then drops a hand to my waist to lead me to the threshold of the train, as I get to the door, she squeezes one last time and then she drops my hand.

As the doors close, our tears are out of control and I am told to board my seat. I am thankful for the window seat so that I can compose myself enough to wave at everyone as my train starts to move.

Then I see her again, she is breaking away from Quinn, as the blonde does her best to try to console her and she darts out as she is keeping pace with the train. I put my hand up against the window, hoping she can feel how much I love her.

We are both in tears and she is starting to slow down as the train starts to go even faster…and just like that she is gone...


	2. Chapter 2 Loser Like Me

Chapter 2: Loser Like Me

As the train picks up speed, I see what brings all of my realizations to truth as the Exiting Lima sign has now pulled into view and just like that has now passed…

I find that I am exhausted from all of my tears that I cried in Santana's arms and from all of the goodbyes that I have had to say today. I start to think about everything that Santana and I have been through together, and all of the love that I have for the taller brunette. We are so different, yet we complimented each other beautifully. I start to think back to when it all began as I feel myself start to drift off to sleep.

_**Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth**_

_**So everyone can hear**_

_**Hit me with the worse you got and knock me down**_

_**Baby I don't care**_

_**Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out you wanna be, you wanna be**_

_**A Loser Like Me**_

A day in the life of none other than me Rachel Barbra Berry, I would say that it is pretty typical of any high school junior student that attends McKinley High School. Well maybe not so typical if you include the countless slushies' that I endure and the constant ridicule on an almost daily basis due to my less than perfect physical features (my shortness and my big nose) and my most amazing talent, need I say anymore about that.

"Get out of the way dwarf." Oh yes my daily reminder of my short stature by none other than the HBIC herself…Santana Lopez. She never ceases to amaze me with her signature BAMF smirk and the new nicknames she seems to pull out at the drop of a hat…in fact I'm convinced she uses her free time in order to think up new ones so that she can try them on me for size.

Let's see if I can remember, she has some pretty epic throw downs in her repertoire, oh yeah how can I forget, "Man hands, Treasure Trail, (what does that even mean) and even short stack. Oh but those are just to name a few. I guess it is better to have negative attention than none at all…at least someone notices me, even if it isn't in the way that I intend.

The slushies' are worse than the insults, there is nothing as bad as cold crispy ice chips dripping from my hair and making their way into the insides of my shirt.

I guess it wouldn't be that bad if they did not constantly use red slushy. I have lost some of my best outfits due to the infamous red dye #5.

Sure maybe I make myself a target with my unique style, I mean I guess there is no one else at the school that dresses quite like me or as Santana so nicely puts it "the fantasy of a Japanese Businessman." But I like my style and I prefer to have my own style. I don't see the point in dressing as everyone else does.

I would have to say that this particular day has been a pretty bad one in the insult and slushy department. I am glad that I decided to pack a couple of extra outfits in my slushy kit today, and even that did not prove to be enough.

Santana has been on my case all day. She seems to show up at my locker before me just standing there with her signature smirk getting ready to test one of her new insults and if that is not enough she seems to be waiting behind every corner that I try to go around, complete with a new big gulp cup of the red slushy.

I guess I am not all that innocent. I do have my own dictionary of slander just in case I need to pull them out from time to time, however I am not one for violence so I try to refrain from that sort of behavior. But then Glee came around and I had just had enough of Santana for the day.

Glee rehearsal proved to be extra intense, every time I tried to say something Santana also had something negative to say, so I guess I could blame it on the heat of the moment but things just got heated and then I snapped.

"The only job you are ever going to have is working on a pole."

Ok, so probably not my best materiel, but I was so angry at Santana, I needed something big to throw at her, and knowing that she is McKinley's most "well known" and "popular" student, and not just because she is a Cheerio, I felt the insult was one that would get to her, and get to her is what I wanted to do.

I did walk out of glee feeling bad however when I saw her sitting in the hallway crying into Britney's arms. I guess I should have stopped and apologized but I didn't. I wanted her to hurt for a bit, just like I do every time an insult rolls out of her mouth and a slushy comes out of her hands.

So here I am 4 slushies' and 2 sets of clothes later headed to my car, because I used all of my clean clothes and refuse to embarrass myself by showing up in class smelling like berries and sticky red dye #5 all over my skin. I can just hear the insults that would come from that.

I am almost to my car when I hear someone walking up behind me. I stop and turn around and there she is, although there is no slushy in her hand I am sure this still could not be good.

What could she possibly want with me now? I would have to say I've paid the price for today, I honestly cannot think of why she would be following me.

I guess I better find out.

"Hello Santana."

"Just stop it Berry." She says with her signature HBIC glare.

"I would just merely like to know why you have followed me out to my car, when there is still two periods left in the school day."

"Geez Berry do you always have to talk in code?"

"Just trying to be specific." I tell her.

"Well just to be specific as you put it, I just want you to know that you are wrong about me."

And with that she starts heading back into the school, and she is gone.


	3. Chapter 3 We Found Love

Chapter 3 We Found Love

I was just jarred awake by an elbow harshly jabbing into my side as the passenger next to me was shifting in his seat. He gave me a sympathetic apology and I swiped my hands over my eyes to adjust to the brightness that was coming through my window seat.

I decided to take out my phone hoping that I would have a message from Santana, and she did not disappoint. I opened the message and read the message silently to myself.

_**You're not alone, together we stand**_

_**I'll be by your side; you know I'll take your hand**_

_**And when it gets cold and it feels like the end**_

_**There's no place to go you know I won't give in.**_

After my attempt to wipe the tears that were streaming down my face, when I finally got through the message I realized that there was an audio clip attached to it, I took a deep breath and clicked on it. It was a very emotional Santana. Through her uncontrollable sobs I was able to make out most of her message to me.

_**Hey baby girl, I miss you so much already. I hope you are excited about the adventure that awaits you in the big city. You deserve the world baby. One day I will give that to you. But for now you have to find your place in this world sweetheart. Just remember honey, you and me Rae, we are endgame. I love you baby more than anything else in this world, you are it for me. **_

By this time my love is overcome by tears that just will not stop, and I can hear Quinn on the audio clip trying to console her and tell her that she did the right thing. Then the clip ends.

I open the message center on my IPhone and scroll to Santana's name or _**San **_as I have her in my phone and for once I am at a loss for words. I decide to close out the message center for the time being until I can collect my thoughts and tell her what I want to tell her. I decide to look through the countless photos in my photo gallery. I come across the many photos of my friends, my family and of my love.

As I am scrolling through the many pics my mind drifts to the first pic that I ever took of Santana, one that she never knew about but til this day remains my favorite. Sure it was an accident…but hey it happens.

I smile to myself and again start to drift off.

"Rachel will you come on already, we are going to be late"

"Well Finn, if you would have showed up a little bit later I would have been ready, you are the one that messed up my whole routine this morning and now I am merely playing catch up."

"Wait…wait…what did you just say" Finn asks me confused.

"I'm almost done." I tell him

After about 10 minutes I make my way out of my bathroom wearing my best skirt, knee high socks, light blue sweater with the reindeers on it and my polished black Mary Janes.

"Geez Rachel did you take long enough"

"You know after 10 months of dating I would think that by now you would have me figured out. "

With that we are out of the door.

We arrive at school on time I might say because I am never late, only fashionably early. Finn and I walk hand and hand as we do every day.

It's strange actually to think that I managed to snag the captain of the football team, I mean he could have any girl in this school, I mean he had the captain of the cheerios Quinn Fabray and by some stroke of luck, I am the one that is on his arm.

Sure the insults are still there, I mean Santana Lopez would not be Santana Lopez otherwise. They are not as bad as in the beginning of the year; I mean the occasional dwarf and short stack still make an appearance but nothing I can't handle.

I would have to say that the biggest surprise of all is that the slushies' have stopped completely. So yeah the insults I can live with.

Finn and I are headed to our lockers which happen to be side by side when a familiar cheerios voice creeps up behind me.

"Get out of my way short stack, you are blocking my locker."

"Actually Santana, since when is your locker next to mine. "

"Well dwarf I made a freshman give it to me when I figured out it was closer to the door and now it is easier for me to grab my stuff and ditch class. "

It was no surprise that was Santana's reason; she was so smart and didn't even have to show up to maintain her 4.0 GPA.

"You know Santana, you really should show up to class, maybe you would learn something new."

"Listen hears Berry, maybe you should stay out of my business."

After watching Santana and I exchange some words Finn got in between us and grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him and we start walking away from her.

"Oh what finnocense, Berry can't handle things without you."

"Shut up Santana."

It was no surprise to anyone that they did not get along, those two despised each other. Ever since the whole Santana taking his V card fiasco and her telling me about it, things were pretty tense between the two of them…obviously I got over the Santana of it all and forgave Finn for his part in it. But that was the least of their issues together…in the beginning of this year Finn outed her in front of the whole school and that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back between the two of them.

This day has gone by pretty quick and before I knew it, it was time for glee. I am always the first one to class so imagine my surprise when I arrive and open the door to see Santana is actually the first one in class today. She is sitting cross-legged in her Cheerios uniform filing down her nails. She doesn't even look up to acknowledge my presence and to be honest I don't acknowledge hers either.

The class starts to file into the choir room with Mr. Shue being his usual 10 minutes late. He says his hellos and walks to the big whiteboard that is stationed in front of the classroom, to write down this week's assignment. The lessons have been pretty easy lately I mean we do have nationals in a month to prepare for.

DUETS

Ok that seems like a pretty easy decision for the week. I mean Finn and I are already eyeing each other because we know exactly what song we will sing together…Then the bomb drops…Mr. Shue is going to pick our duet partners by drawing from a hat. So ok I guess it's not that bad I mean I get along with pretty much everyone in this room and honestly I can work with any of them…well with the exception to one…

Then it happens, he starts pulling names.

Britney and Matt

Artie and Tina

Mercedes and Kurt

Mike and Finn

Puck and Quinn

Blaine and (due to an odd number of students he had to place his name in the hat)

Rachel and Santana

"Wait…Wait…Wait…Mr. Shue me and Santana are you serious." I protested

I can hear the commotion among the others in the room…I am able to make out a few of them.

"Santana will murder her."

"Rachel will nag her to death."

"Mr. Shue you have got to switch them."

Mr. Shue just shakes his head and says that the hat has spoken and we can either do the assignment or receive an F. I take a look behind me where Santana is sitting; she catches my eye and gives me her signature smirk.

This is not going to go well.

As glee is dismissed Finn gives me a kiss and heads out to the football field for practice but not before tossing me his keys and telling me not to forget to pick him up at 8. As I head out of the double doors I hear familiar footsteps following behind me. I turn already knowing who I am going to find there…it's her.

"So Berry, your house or mine." She says

"Wow Santana, I wasn't aware that you were going to actually put any effort into the assignment, I figured you would just do what you always do and sway in the back as I belt out an amazing song."

"Well Berry, you know if I want to stay off of the "pole" I better belt out a line or two myself." She smirks.

"Oh ya about that." And then I am cut off.

"Don't Berry, just tell me, your house or mine."

"Well just so I can make sure that I come out of this alive…mine, but I have to pick up Finn at 8 so that only gives us a few hours."

"Oh don't worry Berry, I won't keep you from your sweet Finessa. "

"Ok Santana, just follow me."

"I know how to get to your house Berry; I mean I did mastermind the egging that took place there last year."

"Whatever Santana." I say.

I jump into Finn's Volvo and watch her get into her black BMW convertible and we head off to my house.

"So this is the inside of La Casa de Berry, it's nice."

I just send her a half smile.

We make it up to my room and start to go through the countless playlists on my laptop. I have to say it is not so bad having Santana over except for the constant ridicule and the rolling of her eyes at every song that I pick.

"Hey." She pipes up. "What about this one."

I'm actually surprised at what Santana's choice is being that it is one of my favorite songs, being that I love romantic songs.

"I love that song Santana, sure let's do that one."

After a couple hours of rehearsing I decide to take out my IPhone so that we can record our harmonies and then listen to them and make them better.

"Come on Berry, no sex tapes, I have one already." She says with a smirky smile.

"Whatever Santana, I was just going to suggest that we run through the song again so that I can record it and we can review it together and make it even better."

"Whatevs Berry, but yous better hurry, yous gots to gets Finnocence soon."

Oh my, Santana and her gangster talk. I don't really understand it but…oops I didn't mean to do that. As I went to press record I accidently hit the camera button and snapped a picture of Santana. I better not tell her that, she might think something way beyond the truth. I should probably delete it; although it is quite beautiful, she has her head down and she looks quite peaceful…think I will just keep it.

_**"Get on with it Berry."**_

Well so much for peaceful I guess.

**_"Ok I am ready."_**

The next day rolls around with nothing interesting to report. Before I know it, it is already glee. I walk into the choir to see that Santana has again beaten me here.

"Hey Berry." She says.

Whoa she said hi, she never says hi, in fact wait…she hasn't hurled any insults at me today at all. She must not be feeling well. Oh well I will just go with it.

"Hi Santana." I say.

Finn walks in after me and places a kiss on my lips and I happen to catch a glimpse of Santana shift in her seat uncomfortably and roll her eyes. As Finn and I start to make our way to our seats I hear her say something that just about floored me.

"Hey Berry, why don't you sit by me, I saved you a seat. "

I give Finn an amused look and he turns to Santana and gives her a dagger of a glare. I look back at Finn and give him an apologetic smile, squeeze his hand and make my way to the top row to sit next to Santana.

"Thanks Santana." I say.

"Well I figured we could ask Shue if we could go practice in the auditorium a bit before we have to perform today, because you know you need all of the practice, you can get." She smiles.

Wait she smiled. She is taking this assignment really seriously all I can do is smile back in bewilderment and agree with her.

Mr Shue walks into the classroom and Santana's hand shoots up into the air.

"Yes Santana." He says.

"Can Rachel and I head to the auditorium to practice before the rest of the class heads down?"

Looking shocked and as if he will fall over he shoots her a smile and agrees.

Wait, she just called me Rachel, she never does that, and it must have just slipped out. Although I do not think that I am the only one surprised by it all. We start to head out of the choir room but not before I catch the shocked looks of all of the glee kids' faces, with the exception of Brittany who is reading a story to her new stuffed unicorn or "bicorn" as she puts it.

We head to the auditorium to practice our song for about 20 minutes when the doors open and everyone files in.

Santana and I go behind the curtain to get changed in to the costumes that we will wear for our performance. Both of us are putting on black skinny jeans and red shirts with cut outs in the shoulders, obviously Santana picked these out.

I catch a glimpse of her and I feel something unfamiliar in my stomach, almost like butterflies. I catch her eyes and I swear she smiles, and not with a smirk. We must both just be nervous. After a couple of minutes, the curtains go up and our music starts.

I start us off.

_**Yellow diamonds in the light  
And we're standing side by side  
As your shadow crosses mine  
What it takes to come alive**_

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny  
But I've gotta let it go

I look at Santana as she enters from the side stage and she joins me in the chorus.

_**We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place**_

Santana then belts out the next verse.  
_**  
Shine a light through an open door  
Love and life I will divide  
Turn away cause I need you more**_

As she delivers the lines in her verse she looks right in my eyes and sends me a sweet smile I actually felt my heart skip a beat. She then continues to her next lines.

_**Feel the heartbeat in my mind**_

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny  
But I've gotta let it go

Then Santana and I come together for the last of the chorus and turn to each other to finish out the remainder of the song.

_**We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place**_

_**Yellow diamonds**__** in the light  
And we're standing side by side  
As your shadow crosses mine...**_

We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place  
We found love in a hopeless place

When the music stops we turn away from each other to a stunned glee club and a very happy Mr. Shue.

"That was amazing, Rachel and Santana." He says standing up and clapping.

After a few seconds of silence, we leave the stage to applauses and catcalls, (mainly from Puckerman).

When we get to the back of the stage to grab the clothes that we were previously wearing I feel a warm hand take mine.

"Thanks Berry that was a whole truckload of awesome."

"Thank you Santana, and you are right, it was pretty awesome."

With that she grabs her duffel bag and clothes and starts to walk away. I start to change back into my previous clothes when I feel eyes on me. I look up to see Santana smile.

"You know Rachel, you should dress like this more often, and you are pretty beautiful you know, when you don't cover up."

With that she leaves me with my mouth wide open, and she's gone.


	4. Chapter 4 I Kissed A Girl

Chapter 4 I Kissed A Girl

"What…What the Hell was that Rachel, I thought you and me…you know…?"

I am awoken suddenly as I hear the conductor coming over the intercom explaining how we have to make an emergency stop. It had something to do with the tracks or something or other. I guess I wasn't really paying attention as my thoughts were obviously elsewhere.

Every time I drift off, I think about her and even when I'm not asleep I'm thinking about her. With this is mind as the train is coming to a halt I decide that I am going to take this opportunity to call Santana. I cannot put this off no matter how much it hurts to be away from her. I love her so much and I just need to hear her voice. Well what I really need is her here with me but I will take what I can get and settle for her beautiful voice. She always knows the right thing to say, I know that she will know how to get me through this…being without her for now.

I pick up my phone and press the speed dial button which just happens to be number 7, Santana did not want to be number one, she wanted to be number 7 so when I thought of her I would think of the 7 deadly sins…leave it to her to turn something like that into everything Santana.

Ring…ring…ring…ring…

_**Well if you called me yous better has something goods to say**_

_**Cuz if you don't I's not gon to calls yous back. San come on **_

_**No one is going to understand this; you need to come up with**_

_**Something…..BEEP**_

Crazy chica still has not changed OUR message.

"_**Hey baby it's me… (I realize that I am already choking back tears). I was just thinking about you, actually I have not stopped thinking about you…I just wanted to hear your voice baby…you know you really should change your voicemail (I chuckle a little bit)…anyway I just wanted to let you know that the train had to make an emergency stop…I'm okay, you don't have to go Lima Heights on anyone, it was just a track thing. Anyway baby I love… (I am now in full blown sobs)…I love you soooo much baby, and I am dying inside not having you near me…I wish I was coming home to you, I want so much to be wrapped up in your arms right now…I know it's just for a while San, but just know I am thinking about you every second of the day"…..BEEP…**_

The train finally comes to a complete stop and we are given the ok to get some fresh air. Hell after that phone call I need to breathe a little bit. I feel so closed in on this train, like everything is closing in on me…I decide to park myself on the bench outside of the train station and bring out my phone again and sift through some more of the pics that I have accumulated of Santana and me over the past 2 years that we have been together.

There are so many, my heart skips a beat when I find one of the pictures that I am looking for…Quinn took it, we were at Nationals and it was just after the competition. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Ever since our duet in Glee Santana has been really nice to me…the slushies' had been called off completely and even the insults, weren't really insults anymore…it was kind of weird.

It is Saturday and all of us Glee kids are getting ready to board the bus to the airport for our Nationals competition in New York…I am so excited, I have been wanting to visit New York since I could remember. I mean this is the place where my dreams are going to come true, of course I want to go and scout out all of my competition. As we are one by one getting on the bus I move to sit with Finn when I notice Santana in the back row trying to get my attention to sit with her…like I said, so weird. I give Finn a quick peck on the cheek and smile an apologetic smile and head towards the back to sit with the taller brunette. Quinn and Brittany are sitting in the seat two up from us and I noticed that they looked at Santana and smiled…the three girls are actually very pretty when they are letting their softer sides show.

"**So Berry, are you ready to kick some ass at Nationals and take some names?"**

"**Why yes Santana, yes I am."**

"**So what do you think our set list is going to include this time, God I really hope we are not doing another Journey medley, Mr. Shue is killing me with all of those sappy songs between you and Finessa?"**

"**Well Santana maybe we could convince Mr. Shue to let us do a duet, I mean we did kick butt in glee club with We Found Love."**

"**Yes your right Rachel, I still stand by the fact that, it was a whole truckload of awesome."**

Wow she is beautiful when she smiles. Wait what the heck, there are those butterflies again, the same ones I felt during out duet in glee, and I must be hungry. Although I have eaten a lot today…oh well guess it's nothing really.

I turn to look at Santana and watch as she holds her hands in her lap and stares outside and watches as we pull away from the school. I decide since we are practically alone in the back of the bus that maybe I can get her to talk to me about the changes between us.

"**Hey Santana, can I ask you something?"**

"**Sure Rachel." She says.**

Wow ok, she called me Rachel again, she stills knows my name.

"**Why have you been so nice to me lately, I mean no slushies''', practically no insults, I mean are you ok?"**

"**Yeah Berry, I'm fine, I just realized that we don't have a lot of time left in high school and I don't want to spend the remainder of it acting all childish and shit…you know."**

"**Yeah I know, hey Santana."**

"**Yeah Rachel."**

"**Thanks."**

"**No problem Berry."**

Its two hours later and we are boarding the plane to New York, I could have sworn my seat was next to Finns but as I am looking at the numbers again, I guess I am sitting next to Santana. Which after the events at baggage check in, I would rather be sitting next to her anyway.

Finn has been a little uneasy about my unexpected new friendship with Santana. I mean I know they don't get along and she has said and done some really nasty things, but I am a very forgiving person and I don't believe in holding a grudge. He has been on my case every chance he gets. Every time he gets time alone with me, he is putting her down and calling her names like whore, skank and the worst yet…Slutana…I can't take it anymore.

"Finn that's enough, I am not going to stand here and listen to you talk to my friend that way."

"Your friend Rachel…are you serious…Slutana is not friends with anyone, she sleeps around and leaves before morning, that is all she is good for…you know you were wrong when you said the only job that she would ever have is working on a pole…she would be pretty great at being a prostitute as well. "

SMACK!

"Damnit…Rachel what was that for?"

"That Finn, was an I'M DONE."

"What are you talking about your done Rachel?" at that he grabs my arm and I wince in pain, because he is jerking me so hard to try to get me to look at him.

"Finn let go, you are hurting me."

"No I will not let go. What are you trying to say Rachel?" by this time I have tears coming down because he is so angry, and he is jerking on my arm and I just know that by the way he is holding on to it, that it is going to rip off.

"Let her go Lumps." I hear a familiar voice say.

"Stay out of it Slutana, this is between me and my girl."

"I said let her go…"

The next thing I know is Quinn has me with her arms around my waist, and I am sobbing into her shoulder, as Finn is doubled over in pain from what I can only suspect was a swift kick in the family jewels.

"What the hell is going on her guys?" Mr. Shue asks.

Santana and Quinn go on to explain what they had witnessed which was the whole incident in fact and before I know it, Finn is being dragged up by Puck and kicked again.

"That's for hurting my Jewish American Princess."

"Ok guys that's enough…Finn get up…come with me." Mr. Shue adds.

We are sitting in our seats on the plane and everyone in glee is loud as normal and talking amongst their seat mates.

Brittany, with Tina, Quinn with Puck, with Mr. Shue, Artie is in the back where the handicapable area is with Matt, Kurt is with Mercedes, Mike is with Finn and I am seated next to Santana.

"Thanks Santana, you didn't have to do that."

"I should be saying that to you Berry, you didn't have to defend me."

She looks at me a little puzzled before continuing.

"Berry, why did you defend me?"

"Because Santana not everything is what is seems, people should not judge what they do not know."

With that she smiles and turns her head to the window.

We are given the run through on plane etiquette and told to fasten our seatbelts, and I notice there is this feeling in my stomach, but I realize it is not the same butterfly feeling that I get sometimes when Santana is around, I realize that I might actually need to throw up.

"Rachel, are you okay, you don't look so good?"

"I have never flown before, I'm actually kind of scared and I think I'm going to throw up."

As I hunch over a bit holding my stomach, I realize that my knuckles are getting really white from gripping the arm rest so tight. As I feel myself start to gag, I feel a calming hand rest at the lower part of my back and rub up and down it softly, and then I can hear Santana near my ear telling me I'm going to be ok…wow she is really soothing. I can feel the tension in my body start to let up when I feel her remove her hand from my back and pry my hand off of the armrest, to put in her lap. She entangles her fingers in mine and gives me a soft smile.

"Hey Rach, just lay your head back, it is not so bad once we actually take off, if you need to you can put your head on my shoulder and just feel me breathe, maybe that will help you."

I can't form any words, I am freaking out at the fact that the plane is now starting to move.

"Just breathe Rach, you are okay, I got you."

She holds my hand tight and I lay my head on her shoulder and I can hear her singing softly to me, to take my mind off of the take-off.

You were in college working part time waitin' tables  
Left a small town, never looked back  
I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin'  
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

I say "Can you believe it?  
As we're lying on the couch?"  
The moment I can see it.  
Yes, yes, I can see it now.

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time.  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter.  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together,  
And there's a drawer of my things at your place.  
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded,  
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes.

But we got bills to pay,  
We got nothing figured out,  
When it was hard to take,  
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about.

Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

When she finished the end of the song I could be all of my tension gone.

"That was beautiful Santana."

She looks down at me with her beautiful brown eyes and says…

"It's the cigars babe…they give me the edge.." Then she gives me a big smile and we both start laughing.

"Rach sweetie wake up, we are about to land."

"Oh hey Santana, how long have I been asleep."

"For a while, we are getting ready to land, why don't you hold my hand, sometimes it can be a bit rough."

"Thanks." I say.

I grab her hand and the plane makes a pretty smooth landing. After we grab our luggage we head to the hotel where Mr. Shue gives us our room keys and tells us we have time to unpack before we have to meet in Mike, Finn and Kurt's hotel room to go over the set list for Nationals.

The room division was pretty standard boys got two rooms and the girls got two rooms, Quinn, Brittany and Mercedes in one room, while Santana, Tina and I got the second room. Santana and Tina decided to drop their bags and go and take a tour of the hotel while I decided to stay back and unpack my things.

Hmmm, only two beds, wow Mr. Shue, you really sprung for this one…I chuckle to myself.

After about an hour later I am lying on one of the beds going over a song that I wrote…when Santana walks in.

"Hey Berry, what are you doing?"

"Oh nothing really, just going over this song that I wrote last year."

"Can I see it?" she says couriously.

"Sure, it's called Get It Right."

I can see the soft expression that she is giving off as she reads the lyrics to my song. I can see her eyes start to tear up a bit and I look away when I see one escape and fall to her lap as she finishes reading.

"Wow Rach, this song is beautiful; I didn't know you could write like this, you have to show this to Mr. Shue, you have got to perform this at Nationals."

"Santana I can't, this song is personal, and I don't know if I want to air my feelings out to everyone."

"Rachel is this song about you and Finn breaking up last year?"

I look at her as a tear is threatening to escape, I don't really want to tell her what this song is about, but she asked and I refuse to lie.

"No Santana, I wrote this song last year when you were bullying me so much that I didn't know how else to let it out but to write it on paper. I just thought if I wrote it down, maybe then I could figure out what I did that was so wrong for you to treat me the way that you did."

By now my tears are coming and they are soaking my lap.

"Rachel, I don't know what to say, except that I am so sorry. "She says with her tears falling in her lap as well.

"I accept your apology Santana; I know that you are trying to change." I say, looking up to her with a smile.

Santana smiles back and we head out of our room to round up the other Glee kids to discuss our set list.

"Ok guys, I have decided to make a few changes with our set list, due to some events of earlier. (The Finn Saga) We have to have four songs instead of three, there can be no mash ups and one of the songs has to be an original song. So do we have any ideas?"

Santana's hand rises immediately.

"Yes Santana." Mr. Shue says happily.

"I read a song that Rachel wrote, and I think that we should use it as our original song, it's amazing." She says.

Everyone is starring at her puzzled, except for Quinn and Brittany who are smiling at me.

"No really Mr. Shue, I can't sing that song, it's just a bunch of jumbled emotions." I say.

"Don't listen to her Mr. Shue, it's amazing, here read it for yourself." Santana says, sending me an apologetic smile for stealing my lyrics.

He reads over the song and then brings his head up to look at me.

"Rachel, this is wonderful, I want you to consider this as our closing number, and I want to turn this into a duet."

"I'll do it with her Mr. Shue, I mean we are the dynamic duo in this club anyway." Finn says.

"Actually Finn that is part of the changes that I want to make. You are not going to be getting a solo in this competition, and you will not be doing any duets with Rachel, actually this is Rachel's song and I think that she should pick her duet partner."

"What the…?"

"Finn…watch it."Mr. Shue tells him.

Everyone is looking at me as I weigh my options on who I should partner with on this song and I can really only think of one person…

"Santana." I say as I look at her.

"Are you fucking kidding Rachel…Slutana? He says angrily.

Puck decides that he has had enough of Finn and lays a punch in his stomach as he doubles over in pain, Mr. Shue decides to take that moment to turn away and let this one go because Finn has been pretty mean this whole trip thus far.

"Ok Rachel, Santana are you ok with this?"

"Sure Mr. Shue, I can do this?

"Ok guys we have our closing number, and we have two days to come up with our opening number and our middle two numbers."

"Hey Mr. Shue." Mercedes says.

"Well since we want to shake things up a bit, how about we feature Rachel and Santana throughout the whole competition, I mean we all heard them sing in the auditorium and I don't see how we could lose."

"Wow, wheezy, truer words have never been spoken." Santana says with a smirk.

"Oh shush it, sticks and bones, I just want the trophy." Mercedes says throwing her a smile.

By this time Finn is finally getting back to his feet and he is pretty angry and shouting at everyone at how bad of an idea this is. All I can think of is the butterflies that are starting to make their way into my stomach again.

Two days later, we have our set list and we are going to be the last to go on stage. We have been sitting in the audience watching as the other clubs blow the audience away and all I can do is stand up and run to the restroom as my nerves are starting to get the better part of me.

I am in the bathroom throwing up as I feel someone tug on my hair to pull it away from my face and someone whispering in my ear that I am going to be ok. After gathering myself together I turn around to see Santana smiling at me.

"Hey there, you can't be doing that right now; we are almost up…are you ok."

"Ya just nerves Santana, I will be ok."

"Wow I never knew you to get nervous."

"I don't usually Santana, but this time, I don't know I am just worried."

"Everything will be fine Rach, now let's go release our awesomeness on the crowd."

I smile and take the soft hand that she has extended out to me to help me up. As we are walking out of the bathroom she keeps a hold of my hand and is rubbing it to ease my tension. We get back to our little room, where she ushers Quinn over to help me touch up my makeup and my hair…I kind of messed it up a bit. Then before we knew it, our light was blinking and we are headed to the stage.

"Ok Rachel, you are going to enter, left and Santana right and once you two hit the end of the first chorus, the rest of you guys will be behind the curtain as it raises…good luck out there." Mr. Shue says.

I come out from the left of the curtain and start us off.

**I can't win, I can't reign  
I will never win this game  
Without you, without you  
I am lost, I am vain,  
I will never be the same  
Without you, without you**

Santana then enters from the right…and sings the second part…wow she is beautiful.

**I won't run, I won't fly  
I will never make it by  
Without you, without you  
I can't rest, I can't fight  
All I need is you and I,  
Without you, without you**

We come together in the middle of the stage to sing the chorus together.

**Oh oh oh!  
You! You! You!  
Without...  
You! You! You!  
Without... you**

Santana takes on the next part of the song as she turns to look at me.

**Can't erase, so I'll take blame  
But I can't accept that we're estranged  
Without you, without you  
I can't quit now, this can't be right  
I can't take one more sleepless night  
Without you, without you**

It is my turn to look at her and sing the next part of the song.

**I won't soar, I won't climb  
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed  
Without you, without you  
I can't look, I'm so blind  
I lost my heart, I lost my mind  
Without you, without you**

The curtain raises and the rest of the club joins us on the rest of the song.

**Oh oh oh!  
You! You! You!  
Without...  
You! You! You!  
Without... you**

I am lost, I am vain,  
I will never be the same  
Without you, without you  
Without... you

Santana turns to the crowd, who has given us a standing ovation.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are the New Directions."

She takes my hand and we make our way back to our spot.

Our next song is Fly, and it is my first time at hearing Santana rap. She does an awesome job and the crowd cheers her on. After we finish that song we move into our upbeat version of Don't Stop Believin, because Mr. Shue said we just had to do this song for him, but instead of Finn having the solos with me, he had Santana take them. Our club is sounding the best we have ever sounded. It is at this time that I hear the opening chords of Get it Right come on and I feel myself tense up a bit. The other kids in the club have filed off of the stage and it's just me, although I can see Santana in the corner of my eye, waiting on her turn to enter on the stage. I take a deep breath and just let it out.

**What have I done?  
I wish I could run,  
Away from this ship going under  
Just trying to help  
Hurt everyone else  
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders**

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions  
Keep making a mess of things,  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?**

I can now see Santana enter from the side stage as she starts to belt out the next lines. I can see tears in her eyes and her cheeks are wet from the ones that have escaped.

**Can I start again, with my faith shaken?  
Cause I can't go back and undo this  
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,  
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this**

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

Santana and I take the rest of the song together. She grabs my hand and we both flow to the edge of the stage and go back and forth between looking at each other and out at the audience.

**So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,  
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!  
Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer  
And finally someone will see how much I care**

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough?  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?  
To get it right?**

When we reached the end we were both so overcome with emotion, my hand still in hers squeezing gently, as we looked at each other with what I could only begin to describe as admiration and love. I couldn't catch myself but before I knew it the both of us were leaning into each other…I hear a gasp from the crowd and a cat call from Puck, and that must have been a flash of a camera that I caught in my peripheral…(the picture Quinn took.)

All of that didn't matter though, all that mattered, was the butterflies that were in my stomach were now spinning rapidly as fast as my heart as our lips met for this first time in a soft, slow and passionate kiss. It wasn't sloppy, nor was it rushed, it was….romantic and what was nothing I have ever felt before…not even with Finn. As we pulled away we looked into each other's eyes, and from then on we knew we had both found something new.

"What…What the Hell was that Rachel, I thought you and me…you know…?"

"Oh no he did not." Santana yells after we had quietly exited the stage to claps, amused looks and the look of pure disgust on the face of Finn.

"Really Rachel…Slutana, this is who you are going to settle for."

Yeah that was probably the wrong thing for him to say. All I remember in that moment is the excitement on Quinn, Mercedes and Brittany's faces as they looked at me and the yelling going on between Santana and Finn.

I see him reach the double doors out of the stage running as fast as he can and shortly after is Santana yelling in Spanish, and barreling through the double doors after him.

And just like that, she is gone.


	5. Chapter 5 Fix You

_**Hey baby is me San, I guess we are playing phone tag sweetheart. Anyway I just wanted to call and hear your sweet voice. I was thinking about you, hell you know I haven't stopped…l love you so much Rae and I miss you like crazy. I have been moping around the house since you left. Quinn and Brittany stopped by today to inform me that we are taking a road trip for a week before we all go head our separate ways. Sorry baby but I have to cut this a little short because they will be here soon and I still haven't packed a thing. You always did that for me, I know that I am bound to forget something. Anyway baby keep your chin up and be great like you always are and we will be together again before you even know it. I love you more than anything Rae. **_

I am awoken from my place on the train station bench by the conductor signaling the bell to let us know that it is now safe to board our places on the train once more. I pick up my purse and my phone, only to realize that I have again missed a call from my love.

I listen to her voicemail only to be overcome by my own tears as I hear her choke up a few times in her message. I am so happy though that she is going to go and have a little fun before school starts up again. I just miss her so much and wish that I was in her arms right now. Her arms are like heaven, so warm and always so gentle. As I am finally again sitting in my seat, my minds drifts back to when we officially started dating and all of the "firsts" that we enjoyed together.

When we finally made it back to the bus after losing nationals, there was not a hostility that greeted Santana and I. In fact, there were our friends and our teacher excepting us with open arms, with exception to Finn of course. Yes, everyone agreed that the kiss we shared was probably what lost us the title but none of that mattered. All that mattered was the built up feelings that Santana and I had both been hiding away for so long were finally able to be let out.

"_**So what happens now?" **_she asks from her seat beside me in a worried tone.

"_**What would you like to come of this Santana?"**_ I say in my own worried tone.

At that point I feel the seat shift a bit and turn to see Santana looking at me with her beautiful brown orbs. She takes one of my hands out of my lap and entangles her fingers in it and then takes her other hand to softly entangle in the hair next to my neck and slowly leans in to kiss me. I wrap my free hand around her neck to bring her in closer to me, not wanting to have any extra space between us. We pull away a minute later so that we can both catch our breath. I see her smile it's so intoxicating.

"_**Rae, will you do me the honor in being my girlfriend?"**_

"_**Of course, Santana."**_ I say with no hesitation at all.

When we returned back to school, everything changed. Word had already gotten around about me and Santana, partly due to Jacob Ben Israel and his stupid blog, but we didn't care. Instead of walking hand and hand with Finn every morning I was met at the double doors ever morning by none other than my super-hot girlfriend.

The insults and slushies ceased immediately. In fact, we got a lot of support by most of the student body and the faculty, well except Finn of course, he just could not and would not except the fact that it was over between us and that I was now with Santana.

We are all sitting in Glee, we have two days left of our Junior year and Mr. Shue thought it would be a great opportunity for us to sing songs that expressed our feelings about things that happened in our lives inside or outside of the school that year.

"_**Mr. Shue, I have one." **_

All eyes were on Santana, as she moved to the front to let Brad know what her song choice was, she then pulls a chair in front of me and straddles it and takes my hand in hers as her music starts.

The opening chords of her selection starts and everyone is in awe, including myself who embarrassingly already is fighting back tears.

_**Don't know much about your life.  
Don't know much about your world, but  
Don't want to be alone tonight,  
On this planet they call earth.**_

You don't know about my past, and  
I don't have a future figured out.  
And maybe this is going too fast.  
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?

I just want to start again,  
And maybe you could show me how to try,  
And maybe you could take me in,  
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,  
But I always come back for more, yeah.  
There's nothing like love to pull you up,  
When you're laying down on the floor there.  
So talk to me, talk to me,  
Like lovers do.  
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,  
Like lovers do,  
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?

Don't know much about your life  
Don't know much about your world

By the time she finished her song, there was only one dry eye in the classroom, Finns of course. Even Mr., Shue had a bit of glistening going on in his eyes. Everyone else is clapping and congratulating Santana on what a great job she did.

"_**That was beautiful Santana, and I have one for you too if I may Mr. Shue. "**_ Mr. Shue gives me the go ahead nod and I give her a kiss gently on the forehead and walk over to Brad to let him know the song that I have chosen. I take up my place on the chair that Santana had been in for her song and she takes mine as the opening my song begins. I entangle one of my hands in her and look into her eyes.

_**When I was younger I saw my daddy cry  
and curse at the wind.  
He broke his own heart and I watched  
as he tried to reassemble it.**_

And my momma swore  
that she would never let herself forget.  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.

But darling,  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere  
deep in my soul  
that love never lasts.  
And we've got to find other ways  
to make it alone.  
Or keep a straight face.  
And I've always lived like this  
keeping a comfortable distance.  
And up until now I've sworn to myself  
that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.

I've got a tight grip on reality,  
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.  
I know you're leaving in the morning  
when you wake up.  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.

You are the only exception. _**[x4]**__****_

You are the only exception. _**[x4]**__****_

And I'm on my way to believing.  
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.

When I finished all of the reaction are pretty much the same as Santana had gotten, only this time it is my girlfriend with tears streaming down her cheeks. I take my thumb to catch some of them as she smiles. I look up from her eyes to see two blonde Cheerios making their way towards me. They pull me up from my seat and both swing their arms around me and envelop me in a hug, whispering everything from I'm sorry, to please forgive me. I looked up to both of them and just told them the truth.

"_**I never held anything against any of you."**_ I simply said to both girls and then turned to Santana who was now standing in to the side of me with an arm around my waist, _**"I never held anything against you either Santana."**_

Before we knew it the four of us were standing there hugging all of our feelings out and placcing new found trust in our brand new friendship.

Wow, two weeks into summer vacation already and Puck is in full swing with the parties. Santana and I have practically spent every day together, getting to know each other and of course making out, because hey we like to. She happens to be home now because she is going to spend the whole week with me for the first time since we started dating. We have had a few sleepovers but they were always cut short by my vocal and dance lessons or her Cherrios practice. So this will be the first time we can actually wake up together and for a whole week. Which I am really glad because my dads were going to be gone until the next weekend and there are some things that I am finally confident that I want to share with her, some things about my past and I know there are some things that she wants to tell me.

I hear my phone buzz with my texting sound and it breaks me out of my gaze.

"_**Hey Rae, do you want to go to Puckerman's Summer Extravaganza.?"**_

"_**Sure San, I'll get ready."**_

"_**Ok, I'll be there in a half hour or so."**_

"_**See you then."**_

I decide to go with something simple for Puck's party just a pair of black skinny jeans, a red v neck cami (Santana's favorite color) and a black pull over zip up. I also decide that I will wear my hair down because my girlfriend has expressed interests in seeing it down more often.

When I finish getting dressed I make it downstairs just in time to hear Santana knocking at the door.

"Hey baby, wow you look beautiful." She says and leans in to give me a kiss.

"You look beautiful too San." She is wearing what I have deemed her signature party outfit, a tight formfitting black dress and her knee high hooker boots as she calls them, and never to forget her leather jacket. She also has her hair down, which totally drives me crazy.

We arrived at Puck's house at 7 and by 9 the party is in full swing. Santana and I are already buzzed but not too overly drunk. We just finished dancing and now all of the glee kids have decided on some party games. Spin the bottle and truth or dare seem to be our favorite. Everyone decides on a spin to the games and put them together. First you spin the bottle, you kiss the person and then you ask them truth or dare, if they say truth its two shots of liquor and a dare is three shots. I believe that I will be full-fledged drunk after this. Oh well, it's all in good fun.

Puck starts us off and spins the bottle. It lands on me…great.

"_**Puck you better behave yourself."**_ Santana says with a smirk.

Puck crawls over and puts his hands around my neck_**…"Come here my Jewish American Princess."**_ He was nice about it, he didn't try to slip in the tongue that could be because Santana was eying him the whole time.

"_**Truth or Dare Rachel."**_

"_**Dare."**_

"_**Wow baby, you are getting brave." **_I hear Santana say laughing.

"_**Puck be nice." **_I say as I see his eyes turning.__

" _**I dare you to give Santana a lap dance."**_

"_**Puck are you serious, she told you to be nice." **_Santana says worried about me.

I take my three shots of tequila and put my finger in front of her mouth, and whisper in her ear.

"_**A dare is a dare baby." **_I say, leaving Santana speechless. I can hear the cat calls coming from all of the girls and the boys in the room. I remove the top shirt, leaving me in my cami and tell Santana to get up on the couch. She does as she is told and I proceed with me dare.

"_**OMG, Rachel that was hot." Puck says. **_

Santana looks at me with a big smile and gives me a kiss, slipping me the tongue as I do the same.

"_**Santana you are up." **_Puck says.__

She spins the bottle and it lands on Brittany. Brittany stalks over and they peck each other lightly on the mouth and return to their spots…wow I thought that would bother me, but it didn't at all.

"_**Brittany, Truth or Dare." **_Santana says.__

"_**Truth."**_

"_**If you could you sleep with anyone in this room, who would it be?" **_Brittany takes her two shots before answering.

"_**Rachel." **_My mouth dropped. _**"She's just so small like a baby and I would want to keep her safe."**_

Everyone starts laughing and the game continues.

It finally comes to Finn and he spins the bottle and lands on none other than me…this should be great. I can already see Santana getting up on her knees ready to lunge at him if she has to.

He crawls over to where I am and pulls me into him roughly, holding my head tightly against him, he slips his tongue in my mouth and I am trying to move away, I grab for Santana's hand and she springs into action.

"_**What the hell was that Finn?"**_

"_**That was me winning her back."**_

"_**By forcing her to do more than what she wanted, dude that's wrong?" **_Puck jumps in holding back Santana.

Quinn, Brittany and the rest of Glee are on guard in case things go any farther.

"_**You'll come running back Rachel, you'll see when she breaks your heart."**_

Everyone decides to ignore Finn and just get on with the game. There is still a second part to this game and I can tell this is not going to go well by the way he is looking at me. I hold onto Santana's hand and she looks at me with a soft smile.

"_**Truth or Dare Rachel."**_

I know either way this is not going to be good. I look at Santana for guidance and she leans her head on my shoulder, and whispers that we can go home if I want and not have to finish up. I tell her I'm ok and I am not going to be like that.

"_**Ok Finn…Dare." **_Everyone's eyes shoot to me including Santana's, they can't believe I chose a dare over a truth. There are many reasons why I would never pick truth and Finn knows that so I felt this was the safest thing to do….I was wrong.

"_**I dare you to tell everyone your little secrets Rachel."**_

I feel a large lump in my throat and my stomach starting to turn in knots. I'm sure I am turning colors because Santana is right there trying to ask me what is wrong and what Finn is talking about.

"**Come on Rachel, tell Santana what you are hiding."**

"_**Finn stop please."**_ Im begging as tears are coming down. Santana is doing her best to calm me down. Everyone else was trying to shut Finn up.

"_**Tell Santana how you are still a virgin, unless you count what your uncle did to you. Tell her your little secret about how you would dream about her when we were in bed together. Tell the rest of the Glee club that you only went for the solos so that your dad's wouldn't insult you and tell you how much of a loser you are just like Santana, Quinn and Brittany did. Huh Rachel tell them all…or actually you don't have too…I guess I'll take the shots for you since I did it for you. You're a stupid bitch Rachel, I can't believe you are with Slutana. **_

Finn was finally restrained by Puck and Sam, I was completely broken, but somehow I mustered up the strength and courage to run up and kick him in the jewels and punch him in the face. No violence is not the answer but all I could feel was rage. I looked around at everyone as they gave me apologetic nods and looks, my gaze only fell to one person who was standing in front of me reaching for my hands and all I could do was run, I needed air. I needed to get away from the stares, and the truth.

I sat on Puck's steps for a while before I saw two tans legs on both sides of my own legs and felt arms go around my waist, and felt a chin on my shoulder. I could also feel a warm body pressing firmly into my back, holding me tightly. All I could do was let go. I let me sobs overtake me as I leaned into my girlfriend. She wrapped tighter around me and just held me. She was my rock, she didn't judge, she didn't ask question she just held me. I can hear her sobbing into my shoulder and that just makes me snuggle closer into her.

I could hear her humming in my ear, I could not make out the tune right away until I heard her start to softly sing into my ear.

_**When you try your best, but you don't succeed**_

_**When you get what you want, but not what you need**_

_**When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep**_

_**Stuck in reverse**_

_**And the tears come streaming down your face**_

_**When you lose something you can't replace**_

_**When you love someone, but it goes to waste**_

_**Could it be worse?**_

_**Lights will guide you home**_

_**And ignite your bones**_

_**And I will try to fix you**_

_**And high up above or down below**_

_**When you're too in love to let it go**_

_**But if you never try you'll never know**_

_**Just what you're worth**_

_**Lights will guide you home**_

_**And ignite your bones**_

_**And I will try to fix you**_

_**Tears stream down on your face**_

_**When you lose something you cannot replace**_

_**Tears stream down on your face**_

_**And I...**_

_**Tears stream down on your face**_

_**I promise you that I will learn from mistakes.**_

_**Tears stream down on your face**_

_**And I...**_

_**Lights will guide you home**_

_**And ignite your bones**_

_**And I will try to fix you**_

When she finishes the tears are coming uncontrollably from both of us and I just hold on to her tighter.

"_**Rae, I'm so sorry that happened to you in there, baby I was trying to get to him to shut him up, I am so so sorry baby." **_

"_**It's not your fault San, none of it is, it's mine. I was going to tell you everything this week when we were alone and…" **_I was cut off by soft lips pressed to mine.

"_**Shh baby, it's okay you don't have to tell me anything, just calm down sweetheart."**_

She held me for a long time, and when she helped me go to stand up, I felt my knees come out from under me. I realized that I was really drunk and so was she, but there was something really sobering about the things that Finn had told everyone. I was exhausted and I didn't want to face any of my friends, especially now that they knew my secrets.

Santana picks me up bridal style and I rest my head on her shoulder and place my hands behind her neck. She carries me into the house and I am too exhausted to realize that she handed me over to Quinn.

"_**Hey Quinn, can you take her for a minute, I just need to get our stuff together."**_

I nuzzle into Quinn and she gives me a soft smile and kisses my forehead and tells me that she is sorry and that everything will be okay. I feel someone's hand rubbing small circles on my back and realize after the stuffed duck that was placed in the space between me and Quinn that it could only be Brittany.

I feel myself being handed off to someone else and after inhaling the coconut shampoo I realize that it is my girlfriend that is holding me tight, with Quinn and Brittany beside her with our stuff. I can hear everyone asking questions, about whether or not I was okay, and why I didn't talk to them. I just let them phase out and I concentrated on the beautiful smell of Santana that was overtaking my senses.

I woke up in own bed, in the same clothes that I had worn at the party, I turn to look at the clock and I come in contact with a slew of raven locks, all over my other pillow. I could see she was laying on top of the blankets still in her party attire as well. I carefully grab my phone off of the nightstand and see that it is only 1 in the morning. I get up slowly from the bed which seems to alarm Santana because I have never seen her move so fast.__

"_**Baby…you okay." **_I chuckle a bit as she says that sitting up with her eyes still closed.

"_**Yah, I'm fine, just going to change baby, go back to sleep."**_

"_**I'm going to throw something different on too, my dress keeps getting bunched up." **_

She moves off the bed to stand in front of me, putting her hands around my waist and looking as if searching permission for a kiss. She doesn't have to ask permission because before she can get to me I am leaning into her to capture her lips in a chaste and beautiful kiss. It was soft and full of want and need. It felt right. It was one of those kisses that could make all of the bad go away. It was perfect. When we finally came up for air she held me for a moment, before I moved to find us something more comfortable to wear. I settled for a clean cami and a pair of boy shorts and Santana did the same. We are both pretty comfortable with our body and we had helped each other get dressed and try on clothes before so it was not a big deal to be in such a small amount of clothes in front of each other.

We settled back in my bed and she puts her arm around my waist and settles one of her legs entangled in my own. She is so warm, this has got to be one of my favorite things about her. After a few minutes I feel her relax, and I put my own hand around her neck and play with her hair, pulling it softly and gently through my fingers.

"_**San, baby are you awake?"**_

"_**Yah sweetie are you ok?"**_ she says trying to get up. I stop her and pull her closer to me.

"_**San, I'm fine I just…do you think we can talk about the things that Finn said, I don't want to have any secrets between us?'**_

"_**Sure, baby if you are ready, but only if you are ready."**_ She leans over to press her lips on my forehead and then presses her own forehead against mine.

We stayed like that for a couple of hours, just talking and revealing everything about ourselves to each other, leaving no secrets between us. I told her about my dad's and how they were never home and when they were home if they found out that I lost out on a solo they were disappointed and they would tell me I wasn't good enough among over horrible insults. I told her about my uncle who had molested me on occasion as a child, and how yes I was still a virgin because he had never went "there" with me. I felt her warm tears hit my chest on many occasion throughout my confessions to her. I told her how I told Finn that I would be stay a virgin until I was 25 so that he would not try to get more out of me than what I wanted to give him. I told her that I wanted to stay a virgin not because of my goals, but because I didn't think that Finn was the one I wanted to lose it to. I told her everything. I also learned things about her.

I learned that she started to like girls in grade school, Brittany was her first girlfriend. Puck was the one that took Santana's virginity and up until the duet we had in glee she was still "sleeping" with him and Brittany. I learned that she has had feelings for me since the day we met and she tried to deal with those feelings by insulting me and putting me down because she was not good with understanding her own feelings. She used sleeping with every guy in the school to try to hide what she was feeling for me. My own tears streamed down my cheeks as her confessions came out one by one. After we had gotten everything out in the open, we held each other until we both succumbed to sleep.

We woke up that next morning and every morning after that during the week that she stayed just being thankful for each other and how great we felt in each other's arms. Before I knew it, it was Friday morning and Santana had to go back home today. I woke up first and just watched as she slept her chest going up and down and her beautiful raven locks taking up the length of my pillow. She was so beautiful and at peace when she slept. I could watch her like this forever. I decide to let her sleep for a little longer and I move to get up when I am brought back down with tan hands around my waist, and a chin on my shoulder.

"Where do you think you are going?"

I whip myself around so that we are face to face and give her a morning kiss.

"I was going to let you sleep, I didn't want to wake you up." I tell her.

"Hmm, I like waking up like this." She says.

"I do too baby." I tell her.

"Rachel can I tell you something?" she says with a worried look.

"Yes San, you can tell me anything, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong baby unless this doesn't end the way I want it to." She says with a small laugh.

"Ok San, now you are scaring me." She puts a finger to my lips and kisses my forehead gently and then brings both of her hands to rest on my cheeks.

"Rae, baby I love you, and not just do I love you, but I am in love with you. I have never felt this way about anyone not even Brittany and these feeling things used to scare me, but with you it doesn't. You hold my heart and I love you Rae and I just wanted you to know that.

I'm speechless, there are tears coming down…and I tell her the only thing that I can bring myself to tell her, the only thing that I am feeling at this point and at this time.

"I love you too San, with everything that I am and with everything that I am ever going to be."

We get lost in each other's eyes searching and just looking at the emotions that are present inside them. After a while we hear her phone go off and we are pulled out of our trance with each other.

"It's my mom baby, I have to go. I will call you later though ok."

She gets out of bed and proceeds to get changed and get all of her stuff together. Before she goes to step out of my door she leans in for a kiss, I willingly oblige her.

"I love you Rae."

"I love you too San."

And with the opening of my front door, just like that she is gone.


	6. Chapter 6 Make No Mistake (She's Mine)

_**This is more of a filler chapter…the best is on its way…I am so excited to share this story with all of you…Hope you are all enjoying it. **_

_**Chapter 6 Make No Mistake (She's Mine)**_

"_**Ouch."**_ I mutter to myself as I try to stretch out my legs.

This train ride is proven to be a longer one than I had anticipated. My legs are so stiff, my butt hurts like hell and I am tackling such a bad headache. Usually in this position of aches and pains Santana would draw us a bath and we would soak in the bubbles together as she massaged all of my tensions away, but seeming as she is not here and there is not a tub in sight I will have to settle for option number 2.

I pull out my phone so that I can call Santana.

"_**Crap."**_ I say a little too loudly…no service.

Well option number 3 then. I dig through my purse to retrieve my headphones and pull up the playlist that Santana made for me on my phone before I left. I search through the playlists until I find the one entitled "Berries and Snix Juice". I laugh loudly at the title, earning me a long stare by the passenger that is sitting next to me.

After going through the songs, I settle for the one song that makes me really miss and think of Santana. I become so emotional every time I hear this song. This song means so much to the both of us. It's our song, mine and Santana's.

As the last few lines of the song play out, I am reminded of Santana and everything that we went through and just how strong our relationship became, and still is. I feel myself become deep in thought as my playlist continues to play on.

Wow summer came and went so fast. We spent it partying a lot with Puck and the other glee kids. Santana and I also managed to become closer to each other as if we thought that was possible. Here we are five months and still going strong. After turning 18 over the summer, Santana had talked to her parents about staying with me since my dad's had both decided to take jobs out of state and leave me with the house, they had all excepted mine and Santana's relationship with very open arms. My dad's still paid the bills and made sure people checked up on me but I just didn't really want to be alone too much. Santana parents were fine with the new arrangement as long as I agreed to stay over at their place as well. We were all becoming very close.

My thoughts about the summer and the changes were interrupted by a very loud bang on the bathroom door.

"_**Rae baby, come on we are going to be late for school." **_She says in a huffy voice.

"_**Sorry babe, lost in thought I will be out soon."**_

When I finally came out of the bathroom, a very irritated Santana tuned into a very speechless one. This could be because I had long since ditched the argyle sweaters, plaid skirts and knee highs and started to dress a little more age appropriate. Of course my wardrobe change was with the help of a very sassy Latina and of course Kurt, but I wasn't complaining one bit.

"_**Wow Rae, baby you look amazing."**_

"_**Thanks San."**_ I decided on a pair of black skinny jeans, a blue shirt with cut outs in both the shoulders and on the back, a pair of blue heels and the signature black leather jacket of Santana's. I also decided on some light makeup and straightened hair. Yah, she's right I do look pretty amazing if I have to say so myself.

"_**You look pretty hot yourself babe." **_

She was wearing a formfitting red mini dress with a white jacket and red heels…simply stunning I say.

She entangles her fingers in mine and she leans in to steal a kiss before we head out to go to school. It's our senior year and we are actually pretty excited to get it started. There is so much to do and so much to get ready for.

We walk through the double doors hand in hand and decided that we just have to make the most of our time left here between the confines of McKinley High. Upon receiving our schedules during the summer Santana and I became a little bummed out because we didn't share any classes together except for glee and our free period. We made sure that our lockers were side by side; only to make sure we could steal kisses and glance at each other before going on to the next class. We also knew we would be able to see each other during lunch period, but still we were more than a little disappointed.

We had already made it through six classes and I was so irritated by this point. I was meeting Santana at the lockers and she noticed right away as my face was a bit red.

"_**Hey baby, are you ok."**_ She asks me a little worried.

"_**I'm okay baby just a bit on the irritated side. All six of my classes are with Finn and he sits in the seat next to me in all of them. He just stares at me throughout the whole class. It's just got me a little weirded out that's all."**_

"_**I'll kill him."**_ She simply states with her HBIC glare intact.

"_**Calm down Snix, there is no need, please I'm okay baby, and I didn't tell you all of that for you to get upset, I wasn't trying to start anything, I just wanted you to know."**_ I say resting an arm around her waist.

"_**Ok Rae, but anything else, I'm stepping in babe. I don't want him making you feel all uncomfortable and shit. I will call Snix and there is not stopping her when she gets started."**_

"_**Alright Auntie Tana, calm down."**_ I say with a laugh, and holding her tighter to me.

"_**I'm just saying."**_ She says with a small pout.

"_**Let's head to glee San."**_

We walk hand and hand to glee and instead of sitting in a chair, I decide to have Santana part her legs so that I can sit on the floor in between them and lean into her. It had been a stressful day and I just wanted to have her close. What can I say; there is nothing better than being held by my smoking hot girlfriend. She slides her chair back a bit so I can lean in further against her and she places her arms around my neck and settles her chin on the top of my head, after placing a small and lingering kiss to the top of it.

Mr. Shue comes in, his normal 10 minutes late and goes to the whiteboard to write the assignment for the week. It is the first big assignment for the year.

Emotions

Well this should be an easy one. Santana and I will pick an awesome duet to sing for this assignment.

"Alright class here is you partners, you will perform on Wednesday." He says.

Oh great he is picking the partners again, well at least the last time it worked out for San and I, so I don't think it could be any worse than our initial pairing…I was wrong.

Blaine, Brittany

Kurt, Tina

Puck, Mercedes

Matt, Mike

Rachel, Quinn

Santana, Finn

As he was writing the partners on the whiteboard, I noticed that Finn had taken up the seat below Santana and me to the far right. As I look he sends me a lopsided grin and I feel Santana tighten her grip around me. I love protective Santana.

Mr. Shue proceeds to go over the assignment and lets the class know that the best duet will be the one that will be featured at Nationals during the opening set. While he was explaining my eyes shoot up to the whiteboard as Mr. Shue moves away and we are able to see our duet partners.

I smile at Quinn and she does the same, mouthing to me. _**"We got this."**_ And nods her head.

Then my back slams into the back of Santana's chair hard as I just figure out that she has now jumped up and is running to the front of the class after seeing who she is paired with.

"_**Mr. Shue are you serious, do you want Finnept to end up in a shallow grave somewhere. I cannot work with Finnessa, you are going to have to figure something else out."**_ She yells.

"_**Mr. Shue come on… Slutana really."**_ Oh yeah that was the wrong thing for him to say.

"_**Listen her Lumps**_." And that is all we could understand before Snix herself came out to unleash her fury.

I motioned for Quinn to help me and we both went running to the front of the class to get a grip on Santana as Sam and Matt were trying to hold back an equally angry Finn. I slipped my hands around her waist and Quinn did her best to help me pull her back. When she finally realized that it was me who was holding on to her to calm down.

"_**Rae baby, I'm sorry, did I hurt you, and are you okay."**_

"_**No baby I'm fine, I mean my backs a little sore from when you jumped up but I'm okay."**_

"_**Oh baby I'm so sorry." **_She says apologetically.

I look to Quinn to mouth a thank you and Santana does the same as I get us back to our places.

"_**I will not work with a whore, Mr. Shue."**_ Alright he just doesn't know how to shut his mouth.

Before Santana can go in for a second round I park myself on her lap and hold her there. I may be small but I am strong. Obviously not as strong as Santana but I do have some weight to me.

"_**Alright guys, that's enough, I am truly disappointed in all of you."**_ He says

"_**Well what did you expect Mr. Shue, you paired up the resident Bitch with the resident Jock, did you really think this would be a good thing." **_Kurt says, earning a playful smirk from Santana.

"_**The partners stand and that is final."**_ He yells back.

After a lot of groans and more words exchanged between Finn and Santana we were dismissed and headed home…this particular night home was at Santana's.

After dinner, and a really heated making out session, we laid on Santana's be holding each other and just looking into each other's eyes.

"_**Honey are you okay."**_ I ask her, because she looks really deep in thought.

"_**Yeah I'm okay; I just really don't want to work with Finn on this assignment. This could only lead to bad things."**_ She says.

"_**I know baby, I'm sorry, but is there anything else that is bothering you?"**_ I say worried about the answer.

"_**No baby, why do you ask?"**_ she says questionably.

"_**I just thought that you might be a little upset because we didn't go all the way earlier when things got really heated."**_

"_**No baby, why would you think that, I'm so sorry if I made you feel that way."**_ She says kissing my cheek.

"_**No, no San, you never make me feel that way, I just wanted to make sure that you are okay with the way things are between us. I just, you know I want to be with you, it's just**_…" I am silenced by soft lips on mine.

"_**When you are ready baby, no rush...we have a lifetime."**_ She says with the most beautiful smile.

"_**How did I get so lucky?"**_

"_**I ask myself that everyday Rae."**_

Tuesday went by without anything too exciting happening except during glee we all had to find a place to practice. Santana and Finn had to be supervised by Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury to make sure that the two of them would stay out of each other's face. They did finally pick a song though which Santana seemed very happy about. She said she threatened Finn to sing it. I'm pretty convinced that Snix made a repeat appearance but she stands by the fact that it was indeed purely the persuasion of Santana herself.

Before we knew it, it was Wednesday and the glee club was headed to the auditorium. Quinn and I walked down together since Santana and Finn were already there being that they would be the first to perform their assignment. When I reached the auditorium everything around me was a blur. There standing in the lights of the stage was my gorgeous girlfriend in a purple long sleeved mini dress and her black "hooker" boots as she calls them. She makes her way down to me to give me a kiss and tells me that the song that she is performing is for me. I give her a quick peck on the lips and Quinn and I sit down and she heads back and goes behind the curtains.

When the song starts all eyes are on Santana and she enters the stage from the left, I cannot take my eyes off of her as I take in the sight of her long raven locks and the way the stage lights illuminate them.

The music starts and I am mesmerized.

_**Santana**_

_**Don't call her up, anymore**_

_**cause I don't wanna hear your voice **_

_**I don't wanna see your face answer her door. **_

_**Make no mistake, she's mine, she's mine, she's mine. **_

_**Finn**_

_**She only knows how I feel **_

_**I only know what she's like **_

_**Santana and Finn**_

_**when she needs me Oh how she needs me **_

_**deep in the night**_

_**Make no mistake, she's mine, she's mine, she's mine. **_

_**Santana and Finn**_

_**Don't get too close when you dance**___

_**cause I don't wanna hear from my friends**_

_**you were out on the town **_

_**There in her arms, there in her arms. **_

_**Santana**_

_**Don't include her in your dreams,**_

_**Finn**_

_**I wanna be in her dreams cause **_

_**Santana and Finn**_

_**I don't wanna close my eyes, close my eyes**_

_**I don't wanna know where she goes each night when she leaves, **_

_**Finn**_

_**when she leaves **_

_**Santana and Finn**_

_**make no mistake, she's mine, she's mine, she's mine, she's mine .. **_

_**Santana**_

_**don't call her up, anymore x2 …**_

By the time the song ended it was all we could do to get to the stage in time before the punches started flying between Snix and Finn. Sam was able to get Finn before he lunged at Santana and I was able to get a grip on Santana before her fist was just about to connect to Finn's jaw.

"_**Ok guys take your seats and calm down, we have another performance today, Quinn, Rachel are you two ready."**_ We both send him a nod.

I walk Santana to her spot in the auditorium, but not before pulling her into a hug and taking her cheeks in my hands.

"_**Tana, that was beautiful. Baby I love you so much."**_ Yah I am totally in love with this girl, I use Tana when I am really full of emotions, and this is one of those times.

"_**Thank you baby, it was for you, I love you so much Rae, and I'm sorry about that up there baby, he just gets to me."**_

"_**I know San, I'm sorry that he does that to you, you know you have nothing to worry about though right."**_ I ask her with a smile.

"_**Yes Rae, I don't worry about you, I worry about what he may try."**_ She says.

"_**Ok class let's focus, Quinn, Rachel, you are up."**_ Mr. Shue says annoyed.

"_**This is for you Santana."**_ I say before headed up to the stage.

I look to Quinn and she gives me and I'm ready nod and we both carry out our bar stools to the middle of the stage and take our seats.

As our music starts I lock eyes with the most beautiful girl in the world, and sing my heart out, with the help of one of my best friends.

I sing to the love of my life.

_**For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
**_

_**Quinn**_

_**For every dream you made come true  
For all the **__love__**I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
**_

_**Me**_

_**You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all  
**_

_**Quinn and I **_

_**You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith coz you believed  
Me everything I am  
Because you loved me**_

_**Me**_

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

_**Quinn and I**_

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me  


_**Quinn**_

_**You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A **__light__** in the dark shining your love into my life  
**_

_**Me**_

_**You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you**_

_**Quinn and I**_

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

_**Quinn and I**_

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me  


_**Me**_

_**I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me**_

When the song ends, I can see that Santana is not fighting back tears, they are free falling and it's all I could do to get to her fast enough. Much to Finn's disgust I meet her halfway.

"_**Quinn, Rachel that was beautiful. The rest of you have some stiff competition after the duets we have heard today."**_ Mr. Shue says.

Santana is too busy holding me close to notice that he is saying anything, I just send him a smile simply acknowledging him.

"_**I love you much."**_

"_**I love you too San, so so much."**_

I am again awoken from an almost peaceful little nap by the conductor stating that we must again exit the train due to some other mechanical difficulty. I turn off my playlist. This has got to be the longest trip of my whole life. Thank god I now have service. Maybe I can finally get a hold of Santana.

After exiting the train once again, I call her number and notice that she has put a caller tone on her phone.

_**Do you remember we were sitting there by the water**_

_**You put your arms around me for the first time**_

_**You made a rebel of a careless man careful daughter.**_

_**You are the best thing that's ever been…**_

"_**Hey baby."**_

"_**Hey babe."**_ I break down immediately at the sound of her voice…sobbing uncontrollably.

"_**Baby calm down…ok…please baby don't cry…"**_ she says, I can here that she is doing a really bad job fighting back her own tears.

"_**I miss you so much Tana, I can't do this without you. I don't want to do this without you." I say.**_

"_**Baby we are going to be okay…we are going to make it. You have to do this Rae, this is your dream. You are not going to throw your dreams away."**_

"_**I want to be in your arms baby."**_

"_**Rae you don't know how much I want to be in yours right now, but we will soon baby. We are endgame remember sweetheart, you and me. You are it for me Rae, but we have to do this…you have to do this baby. "**_

"_**Baby I don't want to do this without you."**_

"_**Rae baby calm down."**_ I can hear Quinn and Brittany in the background trying to calm down my very emotional girlfriend.

"_**Rae baby, you are not doing this without me, I don't want anyone but you. There is no one else for me. Only you baby."**_

"_**I know Tana and you know I feel the same, I just…I just really love you Santana."**_

"_**I know Rae, I love you so so so much baby."**_

"_**My heart hurts San."**_

"_**Mine too baby…mine too."**_

"_**San?"**_

"_**Yes baby."**_

"_**You are it for me too."**_

And just like that my service goes out and she's gone.


	7. Chapter 7 Mine

Chapter 7 Mine

Will I ever just get there already? This train ride to New York is proving to be pure and utter torture. The conductor is once again ushering all of us passengers back onto the train so that we can hopefully finally get to our destination. I am just so emotional and completely annoyed right now. Part of it I know is due to the completely intense and emotional conversation with Santana that was cut short…which reminds me I will be calling my cell phone company to release a little "Berry Fusion" on them as Santana has deemed my alter ego. I just really miss her. I decide to open up my playlist again to go listen to more of the songs under the "Berries and Snix Juice heading." Let's see where did I leave off? I flip through the songs and finally find where I stopped last. I pick up my headphones and place them in my ears and decide to look through more pictures in my photo gallery. A lot of the photos from our last year at McKinley High.

Senior year was going by quicker than any of us anticipated, and now here we all were sitting in Glee already talking about Nationals and Prom (since Principal Figgins had deemed us the entertainment for the night.) It's just all going so fast, there is still so much to do and so much to figure out. Santana and I had spent the better part of the last few months filling out college apps. I got my acceptance letter for NYADA a couple weeks ago and San had gotten a full ride to the best cheerleading school in the United States, however it was in Kentucky. She really wants to get into NYU for Law, but so far nothing yet.

We have talked about the possibility of being separated for a while to do going to different colleges however, the conversation always gets dropped when we both think of the notion of not being with each other on a daily basis.

"_**Hey Rae, baby I can hear you thinking**_?" I am brought back from my thoughts by a hand in my lap squeezing my thigh a bit.

"_**Sorry babe."**_ I say flashing her a small smile.

"_**You okay."**_ She asks lifting me chin.

"_**Yeah babe, I'm fine, just thinking about how fast this year has flown by so far, I mean three more weeks and we are off to college and to the rest of our lives."**_

"_**I know baby, I'm kind of scared."**_ She says with a worried look. There are very few times that Santana Lopez admits that she is scared.

"Don't be scare babe; we are in this together right, no matter where we end up." I tell her

"_**Right baby."**_ I tell her and lean in to give her a quick kiss.

"_**Ok guys, Rachel, Santana are you guys ready to pay attention."**_ He says as we just roll our eyes at him.

"_**The Assignment for the week class, NATIONALS."**_

Nationals is coming up in less than a week and with us trying to put a prom set list together, we had yet to get one ready for our competition.

"_**Okay here we go guys, this is what we are going to do, and I think we could take it this year."**_ He says while turning to Santana and I and giving a smirk. We both turn to look at each other and just start laughing so hard, as do the other Glee kids, well everyone except Finn of course.

Ever since Finn's duet with Santana he has backed off a bit, but I was still uneasy in his presence. Santana notices this as well and just makes sure that she is with me when she can be, to keep me from feeling uncomfortable. I really love that girl.

Mr. Shue proceeds to write our set list on the whiteboard.

_**Quinn/Rachel…Because You Loved Me or your choice.**_

_**Santana Ft. Brittany and Mike…Valerie**_

_**Group #1 Ft. Rachel and Finn…Faithfully**_

_**Group #2 Ft. Rachel and Santana…Here's To Us**_

Oh crap there is that uneasy feeling coming back in full swing; I look over at Finn who is looking back at me with a really smug grin. I look at Santana who is sending Finn daggers'. She then looks to me and squeezes my hand tighter and smiles telling me it will be okay. It's just one song right.

Our rehearsal schedule is tedious and exhausting; we have been at this for days trying to get the dance routines down. We have got most of it down; we are just trying to iron out some of the sloppiness. I'm so sore; I glance at Santana, Quinn, and Brittany, who have similar looks of anguish on their faces. All I want to do is grab some water and grab Santana and go home and cuddle…yah no happening.

"Come on guys, we are getting on the bus in 3 hours." Mr. Shue says irritated.

"Mr. Shue, we have been at this for days, we need a break." Mercedes pipes up.

"Fine guys take 2, but then we have got to run through the whole set again at least one more time."

We all head out of the auditorium to take a break when I hear Mr. Shue call for Finn and I. He wants us to run through our lines on our first group number. San gives me a smile and a hug.

"You'll be alright baby; I'll bring you something back love." She says softly in my ear.

When she turns to walk out of the auditorium she shoots Finn her signature HBIC glare, and then gives me another smile before walking out with Quinn. I turn back to Finn and he is giving me the smuggest smile I think I have ever seen.

"Ok guys, run through the song a couple time, and by the time we all come back we will run through the whole set. "

"Yes Mr. Shue." I say with my head down.

Finn and I head to our spots on the stage behind the curtain, when the music starts.

_**Finn**_

_**Highway run  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
**_

_**Me**_

_**Restless hearts  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sending all my love along the **__**wire**__**  
They say that the road  
Ain't no place to start a family  
Right down the line it's been you and me  
And loving a music man  
Ain't always what it's supposed to be  
**_

_**Finn**_

_**Oh Girl  
You stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
Faithfully**_

_**Me**_

_**Circus life  
Under the big top world  
We all need the clowns to make us smile**_

_**Through space and time  
Always another show  
Wondering where I am lost without you  
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy of rediscovering you  
**_

_**Finn**_

_**Oh girl  
You stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
Faithfully**_

By the end of the song Finn and I are supposed to hooks our arms together and swing passionately, but I decide that we don't need to do that since we are just running through our lines and I pull away.

"What Rachel, you can't even stand to touch me anymore." Finn says.

"Finn there is no need to practice our moves; we are merely just running through our lines." I say back to him.

"So Rachel, really why Santana, you know she is the school whore, she will get what she wants from you and then she will leave you and you will come crawling back to me in the end, so why not just come back to me now, and save yourself the heartache."

"Because Finn, number one I don't love you, number two she will not break my heart, number three I am in love with her." I say back.

I can see this is really starting to piss Finn off as he inches up closer and closer to me…he is so big compared to my tiny little frame.

"So have you slept with her yet, well you must not have and that is why she is choosing to stick around this long, she will take your V card and then watch Rachel, she will leave you that are all Slutana is good for."

"Stop calling her that, she is not a slut, not a whore, not just after me for sex. She loves me and is in love with me. She holds my heart and I hold hers." I scream at him.

"You are kidding yourself Rachel just watch and see."

"You know Finn, let's just get this song done; I would like to spend a few minutes of my break with someone that actually means something to me."

With that I am stunned, I can feel myself being pushed up hard against the wall, and before I know it my hands are being held hard above my head and he is presses his lips to mine. I can hear some hustle and bustle going on behind me. But I can't focus…It's all I can do to try to pry him off of me. I can feel his tongue fighting me for entrance into my mouth, and I do the only thing I can to get him away from me…I bite his lip…hard.

"Damnit Rachel, you are such a bitch." He yells out holding his lip, trying to catch the blood in his hand.

"You son of a…"I am cut short of my rant when I feel arms going around my waist and someone is physically moving me away, but not before I am able to catch Finn's jaw with my fist.

"Rach calm down, it's Quinn, and you have to calm down for a minute." I look up to see Quinn, and she is holding my cheeks trying to reel me in after the incident with Finn.

"Rach you need to focus, she saw you two Rach, S saw you. She went running out of the auditorium in tears."

"Quinn I didn't do anything, I tried to get him off of me but he is too strong." I say with my own tears starting to form.

"Hey Rach, it's okay I know, I saw the whole thing, you go and find Mr. Shue and talk to him, Puck and Sam are going to take care of Finn, and I will go after S. I will tell her everything, Rach doesn't worry."

"Quinn." I say with tear stained cheeks. "Tell her I love her."

"She knows that Rach." She says as she places a small kiss on my cheek and walks out to find Santana.

I run out of the auditorium and almost run into Puck and Sam as they are going in to "take care" of Finn after Quinn told them what happened. I catch Mr. Shue to let him know everything that Finn did to me when he left the two of us alone. He was actually pretty nice and understanding about everything I told him. He even put his arm around me and let me cry into his should. When he calmed me down we headed back to the auditorium where everyone was sitting in shock, shooting glares at Finn (who is sporting a new black eye) and apologetic smiles at me…well everyone except for Santana.

"Quinn, where is San?" I say still really worried and sobbing.

"She's just pulling herself back together Rach, she's okay, I told her everything that I saw, even the part where you got away from me and landed a punch to his jaw. She smiled at that and said that Snix is rubbing off on you. "She says with a little giggle.

"I love her so much Quinn, she is it for me, there is no one else, and I would and could never do anything to hurt her."

Just then there is some in the back of the auditorium as Santana walks through the door and stops to say something to Mr. Shue who gives her a quick hug and nods. She makes her way down the stairs and stops for a second to take my hand, squeeze it gently and walk up to the stage. She whispers something to Brad and then takes a seat on a bar stool she has pulled into the middle of the stage. She says nothing as Mr. Shue is ushering us all to sit where we are and give Santana our attention. My eyes lock on her as her own eyes lock onto mine, and the music starts.

_**You were**____**in college**__** working part-time waiting tables  
Left a small town, never looked back  
I was **__**a flight**__** risk, with a fear of falling  
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts**_

I say, Can you believe it?  
As we're lying on the couch  
The moment I can see it  
Yes, yes  
I can see it now

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together  
And there's a drawer of my things at your place  
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded  
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay  
We got nothing figured out  
When it was hard to take  
Yes, yes  
This is what I thought about

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  
_**  
**__**  
Do you remember all the city lights on the water?  
You saw me start to believe for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine**_

And I remember that fight, 2:30 AM  
As everything was slipping right out of our hands  
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye  
'Cause that's all I've ever known  
Then you took me by surprise  
You said I'll never leave you alone

You said  
I remember how we felt sitting by the water  
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time  
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter  
She is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on  
Make it last  
Hold on  
Never turn back

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter (hold on)  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine (hold on)

(Oh yeah)  
Yes, yes, do you believe it? (hold on)  
Yes, yes we're gonna make it now (hold on)  
Yes, yes, I can see it (come on, come on)  
I can see it now

I am sobbing uncontrollably as she finishes up the last lines of the song. She jumps off of the stage and runs to me and picks me up into her arms and holds me.

"_**You are it for me too baby, I am so sorry baby I was just so angry just too even think that there was even a possibility that you would leave me for him. I'm so stupid baby, I am so sorry I will never ever doubt you again."**_ She says sobbing and shaking.

"_**No baby, I am sorry, I should have tried harder to get him away from me. I swear…"**_ My sentence is cut short by the most perfectly full lips that have no attached themselves to mine.

"_**I know baby, this is not your fault, I was just so angry, I just have to run, and I'm sorry Rae."**_

"_**San, baby you have nothing to be sorry about, it's all him."**_ I point to Finn who was forced to sit alone.

"_**Okay guys."**_ Mr. Shue interrupts. _**"We really need to focus. I've made some last minute changes. Puck I would like you to take up Finn's part in faithfully if you think you could get it down in time."**_

"_**Sure, anything for my Jewish American Princess."**_ He says sending me a big smile, and then turns to Finn and flips him off.

Puck and I run through the song a couple of times and we all agree that it sounds better with the two of our voices melded together. We run through the whole set list choreography and all and then head out to the bus.

Santana and I take our seat in the back. It's the best seat in the house because it is a full length bench seat and no one dares come back there and take is from the BAMF herself. She settles with her back against the window and tells me to turn around so that my back is pressed against her chest. This will be a 9 hour bus trip so comfy is key at this point. I pull out a blanket from our bag and lay it on me as she moves her legs to hook around my waist, and her arms around my neck. I lean in against her and feel her breath in my ear. I love the way that she makes me feel.

"_**Baby I love you."**_ She says in a sleepy voice.

"_**Hmmm I really love you too Tana."**_

I turn slightly so that I can look at her…yep there is no doubt, I am so in love with this girl. I turn fully into her and she pushes off the window a bit so that I can straddle her waist and we can be closer. I put my hands on her cheeks and pull her into a passionate kiss. Her tongue licks across my bottom lip and I let her in as we explore the curves and the depths of each other's mouth. It had been a really emotional day and all we want is to be connected to each other and never let go. We do have to part from each other though…to breathe. The kiss was so intense, and so full of love. I stare at her as we are catching our breaths, and watch as her eyes fight to stay open. I kiss her again softly and lean into her as sleep starts to overtake us both.

We slept practically the whole trip which was nice because being cuddled up to Santana just feels right when nothing else does. She makes me feel safe…she is like the half of me that makes me whole.

We finally make it to where Nationals is being held this year and we are given our room assignments. Mr. Shue did not think it would be proper for Santana and me to room together so we had to separate.

Kurt, Finn, Mike

Puck, Blaine, Matt

Rachel, Quinn, Tina

Mercedes, Santana, Brittany

I guess it won't be that bad, I was bummed though and she could tell. Mr. Shue gave us our room keys and we went to go and put our stuff away and settle down for the night. It was already late when we arrived so we needed to get some sleep, seemingly as we would be performing first tomorrow. I give Santana a good night kiss and head to my room.

"Rach baby, Rach wake up."

"Huh, what…Santana what are you doing?"

"Baby shhh, scoot over sweetheart."

"Babe is Mr. Shue catches us…or if anyone tells…" I am cut off with a finger to my lips.

"Snix will kick their ass baby. I can't sleep without you Rae; I want you in my arms, always and forever."

I scoot over as Santana comes up from behind me and puts her arm around my waist and entangles her legs with mine. I turn back to kiss her another goodnight and she pulls me in closer and settles her chin on my shoulder. Then sleep takes over.

We wake up pretty early the next morning. Santana surprisingly before me, she quickly gives me a kiss and then quietly exits my room and goes back to her own.

"You know Rach, you've got her whipped." I hear Quinn say sleepily.

"Yah I know." I say with a big smile on my face.

Here we are in our room, getting our costumes on and getting ready to go on stage, when it hits me that this is the last time performance for all of us seniors as New Directions. I think things are finally starting to hit me as I look around the room at everyone getting their hair and makeup and their shoes and their clothes prepped…it's all so surreal. We all started not friends at all; we started as enemies as I lock eyes with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. It's strange to think over a year ago we couldn't even do an assignment together and now as I found out last night, she can't go a night without having me close. I feel so special, so wanted, so loved by the taller brunette. I am pulled from my thoughts as arms rest around my waist and a chin goes to rest on my shoulder.

"I can feel you thinking baby." My girlfriend informs me with a small laugh.

"I was just thinking about us and all of this. This is our last competition together and I was just taking it all in." I say as tears are starting to form.

"Oh baby don't cry. We will see everyone. We will always be friends with every one, we have all come a long way." She says with a glistening in her eyes as well.

"I know baby…I just don't want this part of my life to end." She pulls me into a hug and calls for Quinn and Brittany to join in…"We have all gotten so close and just to think in a few months we will be relying on phone calls, text messages and holiday visits in order to stay close."

"We will all do what we have to do Rach. We will always be close." Quinn says cupping my cheek and giving me a big hug.

Just then our light starts to flicker and to the stage we head.

Quinn and I decided to change our song last night and instead of Because You Loved Me we did a stripped down and raw version of Unpretty. We were given a standing ovation.

Santana, Brittany and Mike brought the house down with Valerie.

Puck and I received a stand ovation for Faithfully and the music was starting for our last song. We had decided on sloppy choreography for this song because we always felt we were better when we were unrehearsed.

I grab a hold of Santana's hand and we sing it to each other like there is no one else but us on the stage.

_**We could just go home right now  
Or maybe we could stick around  
For just one more drink, oh yeah  
Get another bottle out  
Lets shoot the breeze  
Sit back down  
For just one more drink, oh yeah**_

Here's to us  
Here's to love  
All the times  
That we messed up  
Here's to you  
Fill the glass  
Cause the last few days  
Have gone too fast  
So lets give them hell  
Wish everybody well  
Here's to us  
Here's to us

Stuck it out this far together  
Put our dreams through the shredder  
Let's toast cause things got better  
and everything could change like that  
And all these years go by so fast  
But nothing lasts forever

Here's to us  
Here's to love  
All the times  
That we messed up  
Here's to you  
Fill the glass  
Cause the last few nights  
Have gone to fast  
If they give you hell  
Tell them to forget themselves  
Here's to us  
Here's to us

Here's to all that we kissed  
And to all that we missed  
To the biggest mistakes  
That we just wouldn't trade  
To us breaking up  
Without us breaking down  
To whatever's come our way

Here's to us  
Here's to love  
All the times  
That we messed up  
Here's to you  
Fill the glass  
Cause the last few days  
Have gone too fast  
So let's give em hell  
Wish everybody well

Here's to us  
Here's to love  
All the times  
That we messed up  
Here's to you  
Fill the glass  
Cause the last few nights  
Have gone too fasat  
If they give you hell  
Tell em to Forget themselves  
(Go fuck themselves)  
Here's to us  
Here's to us  
Here's to us  
Here's to us

Here's to us  
Here's to love  
Here's to us (Wish everybody well)  
Here's to us  
Here's to love  
Here's to us

Here's to us

When the song ends Santana and I turn to the crowd as do the rest of the Glee club to be greeted with cheers and another standing ovation. We all turn to each other and notice that none of us have dry eyes, not even Finn.

We are standing on the stage, waiting to hear the results of the Nationals competition, one of my hands clutching Santana's and the other clutching on to Quinn's. I turn to Santana and we smile at each other, because no matter what the outcome, we still have each other.

"NEW DIRECTIONS"

I don't remember the exact moment when we all realized that we had done it, amongst the jumping in to each other's arms, the screaming in happiness and all of the shed tears we all huddled together and hoisted our hard earned trophy with pride. We had done it. We had gone from the loser club in the school to National champions.

After coming off the high of winning our trophy we had to head back and pack up our stuff, as we would be making the 9 hour trip back home tonight. I grabbed my things and Santana met me at my room and grabbed my bag and we walked out to the bus hand in hand. We took up our spot in the back of the bus and settled in with Santana again against the window and my back leaning into her chest. She again wrapped her legs around my from and leaned her chin on my shoulder.

"We did it babe." She said sleepily.

"Yes we did baby." I say back with a smile.

"Rae baby can I ask you a question."

"Sure baby."

"Baby will you go to Prom with me." She says with a beautiful smile.

"Of course I will baby, I wouldn't think of going with anyone else."

"That's good baby, because I would probably go all Lima Heights on whoever's ass you would have taken." She says chuckling.

"Yes Snix, I know baby."

"Baby." She says even more tired than before.

"Yes Tana."

"I love you."

"I love you too Tana."

And just like that…she is gone.


	8. Chapter 8 Take My Breath Away

_**Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's game**_

_**Haunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flames**_

_**Turnin' every turn to some secret place inside**_

_**Watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say**__**  
**_

_**Take my breath away**_

_**My love, take my breath away**__**  
**_

I still get goose bumps every time I here that song. It always takes me back to prom and all of the wonderful things that happened.

I pick up my phone to check the time 5:30am, only about 5 hours left provided there are no more stops and service failures, until I finally get to New York. I decide to check my service; I really want to call San. Imagine that no bars, guess I will just try to text her.

_**Hey baby, I hope this doesn't wake you up just wanted to let you know that I am about 5 hours away from New York. Loving and missing you more than anything Tana. I'll call you when I get there baby. XOXOXOXOXO**_

After sending Santana the quick text I settle back in my seat and replay my last song. Hearing the song prompts me to once again open up my photo gallery and revisit the pictures that were taken at prom. I pause on one particular photo as I was sifting through, it was among pictures that Finn took of San and me together, and yep you heard that right…Finn. It's just really a beautiful picture. Santana and I are in are prom gowns and I am of course sporting my famous Rachel Berry smile while San on the other hand has her face buried in the crook of my neck. If you look really close, you can catch the smirk that is on her face. I had been trying to get her to look at the camera, she wasn't having it, and she was doing everything she could to make me laugh. It took…wait for it…15 different photos to finally get her to look at the camera. I mean it really did not take too much convincing, I just promised her a heated make out session and dinner at Breadstix. That girl loves her stix.

"Baby what are you planning on doing after school." Santana asks while we are in Glee waiting on Mr. Shue to come to class.

"I was thinking maybe if you were ok with it, I would go with Quinn and Cedes to get my prom dress."

"Oh that's fine babe."

"What are you going to do Tana?" I ask her.

"Oh you know, going to go home and wait impatiently for you to come back so that we can get our sweet lady kisses on." She says with a wild smirk.

"Tana, I won't be gone that long and then you have a deal baby." I tell her before leaning in and giving her a kiss.

"Actually babe I think I will get Brit and Lady Hummel and see if they want to go to the Tux shop to help me pick something out for prom."

"Seriously San, you want to wear a tux." I say with a surprised look on my face.

"No babe I just wanted to see what your reaction would be….priceless." she says before leaning in and placing her lips on mine.

"San why don't we meet back at the house at 7:00pm and I'll take you to Breadstix for dinner babe."

She gets a very excited look in her eyes every time I mention her beloved restaurant.

"Wow, you really know how to get me all hot and bothered."

I lightly smack her arm before turning towards the door to see Mr. Shue finally coming in.

"Alright guys, this week's assignment…Prom. I want each of you to perform a song, no matter whether it is a solo with back-up or a duet. We will also be doing Here's to Us and My Love is Your Love as our group number. So everyone start figuring out your music, prom is this Saturday so we are pressed for time."

He continues to ramble on a bit about how great we did at Nationals and have proud he is to have that huge trophy in our trophy case. We all talk a bit about how it felt to win and then he dismisses us a bit early. With that Santana grabs my stuff, reaches for my hand and we head out to the parking lot. When we get there we meet up with Quinn, Mercedes, Kurt and Brittany.

"Baby 7:00pm don't forget." I tell her before catching her lips in a long and exploring kiss.

"Hey guys get a room." Kurt says with fake disgusted look.

"Quiet Lady Hummel…I promise baby I will not be late, you know that, I gots to gets my eats on at my stix." She says proudly.

"Whatever Tana." I say trying to contain my laugh as I step into Quinn's car.

"You have that crazy BAMF whipped as Hell Berry…I'm impressed." Mercedes says with a smile.

"Yah." I sigh as we all burst out laughing.

When we finally get to the prom shop in the mall across town, we look through some amazing gowns.

"Oh my god Quinn, you look beautiful." She decides on a baby blue strapless gown with jewels all over. It reminds me a lot of the gown Cinderella wore to the ball.

"Yah Quinn, amazing." Cedes says stepping out in a knee length black and white halter dress.

"Thanks guys." Quinn says blushing.

"Mercedes you have to get that one you look absolutely gorgeous." I say.

"Definitely Cedes, heads will be turning." Quinn says raising her brows at her.

"Well alright then, this is it." Mercedes says with a huge smile.

"What about you Rach?" Quinn asks.

"I was really thinking of this one. What do you think guys…too much? I say holding up my number one choice.

"Oh my god Rachel you have to go and try that one on." Mercedes says.

After about 10 minutes and a little help from Quinn to get the zipper up in the back I was standing before my two good friends in the dress. I look up at them and see their jaws drop and I'm guessing that is a good sign.

"Perfect Rachel, just perfect." Mercedes says.

"Someone better tie down S because she will not be able to keep her hands off of you in that gown." Quinn says and we all start laughing.

Quinn helps me out of the gown and we go to pay and head home so that I can be back in time to meet Santana for dinner.

"Did you find a dress baby?" She asks me with curiosity as she is stuffing her mouth with breadstix. It amazes me still the fact that she can eat so many in one sitting and still keep her flawless body.

"Yes babe did you." I ask her back.

"Yep I did, I think you will love it."

"I think that you will love mine too babe." I tell her.

"What does it look like Rae?"

"I'm not telling, it's a surprise." I tell her.

After dinner we head back home and I make good on my promise to cuddle with my girlfriend and flourish her with sweet lady kisses as she calls them. We still haven't had our first time, even after almost two years of being together. It is not because I don't love her, because I truly do and she knows that. It just seems like every time we go a little farther than the last I tense up as I remember what I went through when I was younger. San understands this and she is very patient with me and never makes me feel like a failure. I mean of course I do things to make her feel good, because just because I am not ready for her to touch me in that way, does not at all mean that I want to wait to touch her in that way. She understands and is always there to hold me when I break down and when I feel like I don't make her happy.

Tonight was one of those nights. I just really wanted to be close to her and feel her close to me and right when the her hands started to trail over the edge of my boy shorts I shot up in a panic…oh yah full on panic attack. I felt so bad. I could not stop crying. She was amazing, she just grabbed a blanket even though we were still covered up in our bras and boy shorts, and just held me.

"San, I am so sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me."

"Baby there is nothing to be sorry for, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are just not ready…baby please calm down…don't cry." She says soothing me.

"There is something wrong with me Tana because I love you so much and I want to be with you in that way." I say sobbing uncontrollably still trying to catch my breath.

"Baby…shhh…calm down baby…it's okay it will happen, when you are ready. There is no need to rush it Rae, we have the rest of our lives." She says kissing the top of my head.

"I know baby but I don't want you to leave because I just can't get there right now."

"Whoa baby, stop right now, I am not going anywhere. Get that out of that pretty little head right now. You are stuck with me love. " She says placing another kiss on the top of my head.

"I hope so San, because I never want to lose you."

"Trust me babe, it's me that should worry about losing you…I am not going anywhere sweetheart."

After a while I finally do calm down, and she motions for me to lay back down on the bed after helping me into a t-shirt. The rest of the night she just holds me, no words were needed, there was just love.

The rest of the week went by pretty quick for us and before we knew it, it was Saturday.

Welcome to the McKinley High Prom

Pretty sign I thought, someone put a lot of work in to making that.

"Hey Quinn is San here yet?" I ask.

Santana and I decided not to ride in together because we wanted to surprise each other with our prom dresses. I had spent the day with Quinn and we got the ultimate prom experience. We had our hair, makeup and nails done and then stopped off at a little flower shop so that I could get Santana a corsage. Quinn was meeting Sam here as well, who just happened to be her date for the night.

"I think she just walked in with Brit, Rae."

I turn to look towards the door as I lock eyes with the most beautiful girl in the room. Her eyes catch mine and we start to make our way over to each other.

"Wow San, you look gorgeous." Was all I could get out as I looked her over with a fire in my eyes. She is wearing a long red flowing gown with one shoulder strap, jewels encrusted all over it and a slit that went up to mid-thigh, compete with 4 inch red heels. I was pretty much speechless.

"Baby…" She says looking at me from head to toe. "You look stunning." I left her pretty much speechless as well as she finally got a look at my white flowing gown with a silver strip of jewels around the waist and around the halter top, topped with 4 in open toed silver heels. My gown also sported a high slit, a little higher than Santana's which is where I could see that she could not take her eyes off of.

"This is for you baby." I say as I put the red and white corsage that I had gotten for her on her wrist.

"It's beautiful Rae, thank you. Baby this one is for you."

"San I love it." It was a baby pink corsage with silver ribbon. It was breath taking.

"Baby I'm first to sing, will you stand by the stage and wait for me, I want first dance with my girl." She says with a bright smile.

"Of course baby."

We make our way to the stage and I stand just off of the front and watch her as she get ready to sing as Quinn steps up there with her so that they can do a duet. As the song starts my eyes are locked with the taller brunette as her eyes are also locked on mine.

_**Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game  
On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame  
Turning and returning to some secret place inside  
Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say**_

Take my breath away  
Take my breath away

Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love  
Never hesitating to become the fated ones  
Turning and returning to some secret place to hide  
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say,

My Love,  
Take my breath away

Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away  
When the mirror crashed I called you, and turned to hear you say  
If only for today I am unafraid

Take my breath away  
Take my breath away

Watching every motion in this foolish lover's game  
Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames  
Turning and returning to some _secret__** place inside  
Watching in slow motion as you turn my way and say**_

Take my breath away,  
My Love  
Take my breath away  
My Love  
Take my breath away  
Take my breath away

After her song she makes her way back to me and I devour her lips and crush them into mine. We stay like that until I have to pull away for air.

"That was beautiful San." I say blushing.

"I love you Rae, and that was for you baby."

Its Mercedes turn to sing and Tana and I finally get our first dance. Cedes decides to sing Imagine and San and I smile at her choice of song.

"I really love you Santana, with all of my heart. I have never been this happy." I say as I lay my head on her shoulder and hook my arms around her waist tightly. She hooks her own arms around my neck and leans into me closer. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach, the same ones I felt with our first duet, with our first kiss, and on our first date.

"I love you to Mi Estrella." She whispers in my ear.

As the song is starting to get to the end, I feel someone tap my shoulder.

"May I cut in." Finn says, looking at me.

"Listen hear Finnessa, we are not going to do this tonight." Santana says, calmly but stern.

"I mean Rachel, may I please dance with Santana?" He says smiling.

We are both stunned.

"Baby, I have to sing next, it's okay with me if you want to." I say as she is giving Finn her signature HBIC glare.

"Why would I possibly want to dance with you Finn, you have been nothing but unsupportive and mean to Rachel ever since we got together." Santana says still trying to keep Snix reigned in.

"I just…I just want to make it right Santana, now may I please dance with you?"

She looks to me and I nod my head slightly.

"Fine Finn, but only one dance, the rest of the night I'm spending with that hot girl that is heading to the stage."

Finn nods and then puts his arms around Santana's waist, as she rests hers on his neck. I can tell she doesn't want to do this but she is trying to make an effort.

I catch her last sentences and turn back to give her a shy smile and then walk to the microphone. I usher up Tina and Brittany to help me with my song. I whisper my song selection to the band and turn to my girl, who is paying no attention to Finn, she only has eyes for me. The music starts and I see as a tear starts to make its way down Santana's cheek, she knows this song is for her.

_**The first time ever I saw your face **__**  
**__**I thought the sun rose in your eyes **__**  
**__**And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave**__**  
**__**To the dark and the end of the skies **__****_

_**And the first time ever I kissed your mouth **__**  
**__**I felt the earth **__move in__** my hand **__**  
**__**Like the trembling heart of a captive bird **__**  
**__**That was there at my command, my love **__****_

_**And the first time ever I lay with you **__**  
**__**I felt your heart so close to mine **__**  
**__**And I knew **__our joy__** would fill the earth **__**  
**__**And last, till the end of time, my love **__****_

_**The first time ever I saw your face **__**  
**__**Your face **__**  
**__**Your face **__**  
**__**Your face...**_

As I head down from the stage I am met with soft arms around my neck and a soft kiss on my lips. I could never get tired of this.

"That was amazing Rae."

"Not as amazing as you baby." I say wiping her tears with my thumb.

The rest of the prom was just as amazing, we did our group numbers and Santana and I took the stage to sing So Emotional together and then we Glee girls sang a rendition of Dancing Queen and River Deep Mountain High. The boys surprised us all with Just the Way You Are. They did an amazing job.

As the evening winded down I wanted to get some pics of everyone, however I had yet to get any of Santana and I. I was trying to get her to look at the camera as I juggled with it to make it perfect.

"I'll take some pictures of you two if you would like." Finn said stepping up to us.

"Thanks Finn but I think I can manage." I say.

I look to Santana who is actually not wearing her glare, she is more confused than anything.

"Look Rachel, Santana I just want to apologize for all of the stupid things, I did say, will say and will do. I was just so angry and instead of dealing with my crap I let it spill over into you two and for that I am truly sorry. I just want you to know that I am done chasing after Rachel and I get it Santana that you are not out to hurt her. You treat her better than I ever did, and she is the most happy and beautiful that I have ever seen her. I just want you to know that you will always have my love Rachel but you both have my support."

"Thanks Finn that means a lot." I say smiling.

"Yah uh thanks Finn." Santana says back with a smile.

"Here Finn, if the offer is still there could you please get some pictures of me and Santana."

"Sure, I would love to." He says happily.

"Come on San please just look at the camera one time." I say to her as she is doing everything she can to get me to look at her.

"Baby, I just want to look at you." She says trailing kisses on my neck and my cheek.

"Tana, please." I say giggling as she is tickling my sides by running her arms up and down.

"Baby…you are whining." She says as she continues to tickle me.

"Ok…ok Santana Lopez, stop!" I say laughing out loud.

"But I don't want to." She says still tickling.

"Ok Santana listen."

I turn to look at her and she looks at me with passion in her eyes, and I place a finger on her lips before she can lean in to kiss me.

"If you let Finn take our picture, I will buy you Breadstix for dinner, and give you the best make out session you have ever had baby."

With that she turns quickly with the biggest smile on her face. The picture turned out flawless.

Finn hands me back my phone and I take Santana back to the dance floor so that we can dance the last dance. Quinn and Tina take the stage and nod at Santana as they start to sing their song together. There song starts and all I can do if feel my eyes well up with tears. They are singing our song, mine and Santana's.

My tears are coming down quickly, I am just so happy. I am so happy with her, I can't believe the way that I feel right now at this moment. Our friends continue to sing "our" song and I just hold my gaze with Santana's she is smiling. As the chorus comes up I lean into her and she puts her lips near my ears and starts singing to me.

_**Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine**_

I feel her break away and I am in awe at what I see in that moment. Tana has dipped down to the floor to get down on one knee and she is holding a box in her hand.

"San baby what are you doing?" I ask her as I am sobbing.

"Baby just let me get through this ok." She says with her own tears coming down.

"Rachel since the day we met, I have been yours, but I just didn't realize it at the time. I did everything I could to try to fight my feelings for you, only for them to come on stronger and stronger. I have always known that you were the one for me, from the first gaze into your eyes, our first date, our first kiss, and the first time I said I loved you. My heart has always been yours baby, and will always be yours. I know that next year we will be in college and whether we like it or not, we may not be in the same school, or even the same state, but my heart with still be yours. I got you this because I wanted, no I needed to show you how much you really mean to me and let you have a reminder that no matter how close we are or how far apart we are, you and me baby we are endgame. Pezberry is meant to last. This is not a proposal, not yet baby, someday though, but right now in this moment this is my promise to you."

I cannot stop the tears from coming down, I cannot believe how much love I feel for this girl. I mean I have loved her and been in love with her for a long time, but right now in this moment I am head over heels, cannot really put it in to words in love. She starts to stand again and hands me the box as she opens it up.

"San, it is beautiful." Is all I can make out as I gasp at the amazing promise ring that Santana picked out. It is a princess cut diamond with two pink sapphires on both sides.

"Rachel, I promise to always be by your side, when you need someone, to listen to your long winded rants." I laugh amidst my tears. "I promise to be your shoulder when you need to cry. I promise to hold you when you are scared. I promise to be there through thick and thin. I promise not to run when things get hard. I promise to make you happy and work every day to keep you from being sad. I promise to love you for the rest of my life. Rachel, will you wear this ring as a sign of all of my promises to you baby."

I look up for a moment to see that everyone is starring at us. The song had long since stopped and our friends were all gathered around, I would say probably anticipating my answer. Santana had this all planned out with Quinn and Tina. She had asked them to sing the song for me so that she could have that as a background. It was perfect, she is perfect.

"Yes baby I will wear your ring." I look up as I hear all of our friends yelling and screaming congratulations.

She slips the ring on my finger and at that moment I realize that it is me and Santana against the world and it doesn't matter where we end up for school all that matters is the end result and that involves the two of us together.

"I love you so much Rachel, I am the happiest that I have ever been"

"Santana Maria Lopez, you are the love of my life and my love for you gets stronger and stronger every day. You are at this moment and will always be it for me baby."

"Ok guys quit with the lovey dovey stuff, I want to dance with my Lezbro." Puck says stealing Santana away, but not before she can capture my lips in a blinding kiss.

"Rachel, will you dance with me."

"I would love to Finn." I say with tears still coming down.

Matt and Mercedes get up on stage to play the last song of the evening. The music starts and even though we are not dancing together, our eyes are still locked on to each other's.

_**Are those your eyes?  
Is that your smile?  
I been looking at you for ever,  
Yet I never saw you before.  
Are these your hands? Holding mine?  
Now I wonder how I could have been so blind.  
**_

_**And for the first time, I am looking in your eyes.  
For the first time, I'm seeing who you are.  
I can't believe how much I see,  
When you're looking back at me.  
Now I understand what love is,  
Love is...  
For the first time...  
**_

_**Can this be real?  
Can this be true?  
Am I the person I was this morning?  
And are you the same you?  
Its all so strange.  
How can it be?**_

Halfway through the song, Santana and I let go of Puck and Finn and make our way to each other so that we could end our prom dancing with each other. This night had been so magical. I never dreamed in a million years that I could ever be this happy. I never thought I could deserve someone like her._**  
**_

_**All along this love was right in front of me!  
And for the first time, I am looking in your eyes.  
For the first time, I am seeing who you are.  
I can't believe how much I see,  
When you're looking back at me.  
Now I understand what love is...  
Love is...  
**_

_**For the first time.  
Such a long time ago,  
I had given up on finding this emotion,  
Ever again.  
**_

_**But you're here with me now,  
Yes I found you somehow,  
And I've never been so sure.  
**_

_**For the first time, I am looking in your eyes,  
For the first time, I'm seeing who you are,  
Can't believe how much I see,  
When you're looking back at me.  
Now I understand what love is...  
Love is...  
For the first time.  
For the first time.**_

As the song ends I look at Santana with a new light in my eyes. She meets my gaze and I just could not be more in love with her than what I was in that moment. I needed to tell her exactly how I felt, exactly what she means to me…but not really tell her…I needed to show her.

"Tana, take me home please." I say to her with love in my eyes.

She smiles and grabs our jackets and we head to "our" house as we call it.

I juggle with the keys as my hands are shaking. Santana grabs the keys from my hands and put one of her arms around my waist and smiles softly back at me. When the door opens we drop our stuff and she picks me up bridal style, I place my arms around her and rub my nose against her neck, I can hear her making small moaning sounds as I place soft kisses on her where my nose has already traced.

She walks me slowly up the stairs and into "our" bedroom, and slowly puts me down so that I am again in standing position. I slowly trace her sides with my fingers as she does the same to me drawing out a giggle when she tickles my waist.

I slowly reach around back to unclasps and unzip her prom dress watching it as it slips to the floor leaving her in just her bra and her boy shorts. She takes my breath away. I feel her hands as they reach around my neck undoing the clasp on my dress and then unzipping my zipper, leaving me in the same attire as my girlfriend.

"San baby." I say as my shaking has subsided.

"Yes baby." She says softly.

"Make love to me."

She slowly takes my hand and leads me to our bed she lays me down after removing the rest of her clothes. She is breathtakingly beautiful. She moves her hands to my clothes and slowly and gently removes mine as well, but not before searching my eyes for any hesitation…she see none. I catch her staring at my eyes and then at my body and then the most amazing smile comes across her face.

It was mind blowing, far beyond what I ever believed a "first" time could be. She was gentle and delicate and it was perfect. I felt more than I had ever felt in my life. Even better it was with the person that I loved the most.

"Baby, I can feel you thinking." She says as she moves the comforter over our still naked bodies.

"I'm sorry baby, I have just never been so happy." I tell her.

"You make me the happiest I have ever been too Rae." She says as she starts to get sleepy.

We shift so that we are tangled in each other. Our hands holding each other, our legs entangled in each other's and our foreheads pressed together. We both fight sleep so that we can just watch each other and just take in the moment and the events of tonight. It's been everything we have ever dreamed of.

"San baby, I love you." I say sleepily.

"Rae baby, I love you too." She says quietly as sleep finally overtakes her.

And just like that…she is gone.


	9. Chapter 9 Keep Holding On

_**Chapter 9 Keep Holding On**_

Well here I am 36 hours and 52 minutes later (due to all of the unscheduled maintenance stops) standing in the middle of Times Square in New York. It is such a beautiful and amazing sight. There are so many cars speeding down the road and so many tall buildings that make up its exquisite landscape. It really is quite breathtaking. I am brought back down to earth when I feel my phone which is in my pocket, buzzing like crazy. Hmm I must finally have service.

Wow 17 unread messages and 5 missed calls, a little popular today I guess…I chuckle to myself at the thought. I make my way over to the huge water fountain that we all sat at when we came here for our Nationals competition in Glee a year ago and went through my inbox.

"_**Hey bestie, missing you like crazy. S said you weren't too far away from the Big City the last time she talked to me. Just wanted to tell you I love you Rach…Take care and see you soon."**_ I smile at the message from Quinn and continue to the next message.

"_**Hey R I miss you and so does Lord Tubbington, I think he has picked up smoking again…I Love you."**_ Brittany always knew how to draw out a belly laugh.

My heart stops when I get to the next one, it's from Santana.

"_**Hey baby girl, I love and miss you…hope you get service back soon…I miss your voice. Thinking about you every minute of every day."**_

I scroll through the rest and find a message from each and every glee member including a couple more from Santana, and even one from Mr. Shue. I also see one each from my mom, my dad's and Santana's parents.

My heart is so full right now with all of the love that I feel from each and every one of them. I continue through my phone to listen to my voicemails.

"_**Hola Mija. We miss you so much sweetheart. You keep your head up. You are special and will go so far Estrella. You be great and come back to us soon Mija. You are a star Rachel. I don't know if you have talked to Santana yet today but she got a call from the coach in Kentucky and they want her there early for practice, we are taking her to the airport here in a couple hours. She's not excited at all but I told her same thing I told you Mija…just give it a chance. We all miss you so much baby girl…Te Amo Mija…see you soon. Papi says he loves you too."**_

God I love them. I am so happy to have them in my life. I am also so happy for Tana for being called early. Whether she likes it or not it will be a good distraction for her.

_**Next New Message**_

"_**Hey baby, I didn't have the chance to tell you since your phone has had bad service, although I heard mom tell you…I got a call from the new coach I am getting on the plane hear soon, they are having some sort of summer clinic that she wants me to be involved in…I'm so excited…not. Anyway baby I'll tell you more about it later…I love and miss you so much sweetheart."**_

Her voice makes tears come out every time. I love that girl more than anything.

I got a message from Quinn saying that San was doing her best to try to hold herself together. I love how Quinn always tells me the truth and not just what I want to hear. She also said that they had to forgo their trip since Santana got called early. Quinn said she would be heading to Yale in the next day or so to find her dorm and start to get to know people. She made sure to tell me that she would be coming to New York on her first break from school and ended with an I love and an I miss you.

My dad's and my mom Shelby were my last two calls. I just listened and proceeded to send everyone a message back except for Santana. I wanted to call her. I looked up to see when her call came through, only three hours ago meaning that she would be on the plane by now.

Thinking about the fact that Santana was heading out to a different state other than the one that I was in brought me to the realization that this was all happening. It brought me to the truth…a panicked truth. Since I couldn't talk to San, I pressed Talk on the only other person I felt could get me through this.

"_**Hola Mija."**_

"_**Mami."**_ I get out while sobbing uncontrollably.

"_**Mija, what's wrong honey, you need to calm down and breathe."**_ She says soothingly.

"_**I can't do this, I just can't, and not without her, my heart hurts too bad…I can't breathe**_." I say panicking and gripping my chest.

"_**Mija…you are not without her, you know that, and you know that she feels the same way. It was everything I could do to get her on that plane today. You two have each other sweetheart, even as far apart as you are."**_

"_**I know Mami but I am so lost, and I feel so alone and scared."**_

"_**I know Mija, but you are not alone, you have us, your parents, your friends and most of all you have Santana. She loves you baby girl more than she has ever loved anyone in her life. You hold her heart Rachel nothing can and ever will change that. I don't know how you did it but you softened that bad ass exterior that is my lovely daughter."**_

I let out a small laugh.

"_**There is that beautiful laugh that I miss so much." **_She says softly.

"_**I just miss her so much."**_ I say finally calming down.

"_**I know you do Mija, just remember it's not forever, just for a little while."**_

"_**I know."**_ I say with a sigh.

"_**Baby girl, we love you."**_

"_**I love you guys too."**_

"_**Sweetheart I am going to tell you the same thing that I told Santana when she went to board the plane. You need to try to stay calm and make the most of this situation. You two are meant to be together, and that will never change. No matter which direction your dreams take you."**_

"_**Thank you Mami."**_ I am fully calmed down and actually smiling before I end the call with her. I have always known where Santana got her calming nature.

I sift through my purse and take out the piece of paper that my dad's had given me with an address on it. They had come up here a couple of weeks prior and purchased a loft for me that would be within walking distance from NYADA. Even after everything I still loved them. I know that everything they did was out of love and support for me even if I didn't feel it at the time.

I hail my first cab and give the guy the address and he whisks me away. After driving for about 10 minutes, I step out after giving him some money and make my way to the address in my hand. I bring out the new key on my key ring and open the door.

It is huge, and of course fully furnished. _**"Thanks Dads."**_ I mouth to myself after taking in the beauty of the place. I make my way to my bedroom and see a picture on my night stand. It is one I have not seen before. It's a picture of Santana and me at my house and we are on the couch cuddled together sleeping. Must have been taken by my dad's one of the few times they came home. It's a black and white photo and we look so peaceful just being held by each other.

I take the picture off of the night stand and cradle it to my heart. I lay on the bed thinking of my love and the day we had to set off on separate journeys. Eventually all of the thinking took its toll as tears and exhaustion overtake my body.

"_**Rae baby, it is time sweetheart."**_

"_**No Tana, sleepy."**_ I say not wanting to open my eyes.

"_**I know baby, me too but we have to get everything ready baby. You have to get up."**_

When I take in what she is saying and realize what it is I have to get ready for, I immediately start to sob uncontrollably as Santana takes me in her arms and does the same.

"_**Tana I don't want to go."**_ I tell her holding her as tight as I can, as she does the same.

"_**I know baby and you know I feel the same but this is your dream, you will not give up your dream for me. Besides baby I have my own dream to get to."**_ I look up in to her eyes and see a small smile come across her lips.

"_**I am going to be the most smoking hot cheerleader that Kentucky has ever seen. How could I possibly deny myself that chance? This HBIC has gots to gets her game on." **_

She always knows how to make me smile. We resume holding each other when we hear a knock on the door.

"_**Come in."**_ Santana and I both say.

"_**Hola Mijas."**_ Santana's father says. He is accompanied by San's mother, my dad's and my mom.

With the sight of all of them, Santana and I are unable to fight our tears and looking at the elders neither are they. Santana moves a bit and motions for me to sit in her lap so that she can hold me. We give a nod and our family moves in to join us on the bed.

We sit there all together for about an hour, making plans, talking about past memories and how there is new and exciting things coming for both Santana and me. We just sit there and take it all in, stealing glances at each other and holding on to each other for dear life.

"_**We'll leave you two for now." **_My mom Shelby says before giving us both a kiss on our forehead as do all of our parents before walking out and closing the door behind them.

"_**I love you Rae."**_ My girl says before kissing me gently.

_**I love you too Tana."**_ I say before I slowly remove myself from the warmth of her lap.

I move to get off of the bed and make my way to the bathroom to draw myself a bubble bath. I come back in the bedroom to find Tana clutching her hands together looking out her window. I move silently behind her and wrap my arms around her waist and put my legs on both sides of hers. I then move as close as I can to her and rest my chin on her shoulder. She moves her hands up to hold mine.

"_**Tell me we are going to be okay Rae."**_ She says fighting back more tears.

"_**Santana Maria Lopez, we are going to be okay."**_ I say with more confidence that I have ever had about anything.

I place small kisses on her neck as she starts to settle back into my front. I can feel her relaxing. I can hear all of the little gasps and moans that are escaping her mouth. I slowly release her from my grip and get off of the bed. I catch her teary eyed gaze and reach my hand out for hers. She smiles a soft smile and I smile back and she walks towards me and clutches my hand. We walk towards the bathroom together.

We release our hold on each other just long enough to help each other out of our clothing. I slip into the hot bubble bath first to Santana's surprise.

"_**Hey that's my spot."**_ She says with a small pout.

"_**I know baby but I want to hold you this time."**_ I say with a soft smile.

I hold out my hand to hers and watch as her beautiful and flawless tan skin steps into the tub and melds to mine. I grab my phone that I brought in with me and turn on our song before slipping my hands around Santana's chest and sliding us down a bit so that she can lean further into me. My hands and fingers explore and caress each and every part of her body as her hands reach up and entangle themselves first in my hair then settle softy around my neck.

I can feel her heartbeat race as my fingers trace ever curve of her. My own heartbeat is racing at every moan and whimper that I hear make its way out of her mouth. I move my head down so that I can pepper kisses along her shoulder continuing up her neck and to her pulse point, as my fingers continue their dance along her body. She lifts her head up and pulls my head down so that she can take me into a passionate kiss, making a moan escape from my mouth as she tugs on my bottom lip with her teeth.

When my fingers dance over her as they do every time we make love I feel her breath hitch as she arches up to meet me. My fingers and lips continue until I feel her breathing start to even out again. We sit there for a while taking in the feel of skin against skin, touching each other, talking and taking in everything about each other that we can. We know that we have little time left before we have to continue our day. She moves her head up again to give me a soft kiss on my chin and that is my cue. My cue that it is time.

My bags are packed and waiting by the front door. I am standing in our room and taking in the sight. I found myself walking back up her after Santana and I took my stuff down. I just wanted to come back and take in the familiarity of it. The smells, the pictures, everything us. I want to put it on lock down in my memory, until I can make it back here again…home.

"_**I can feel you thinking baby."**_ She says from the doorway before walking towards me and handing me my phone.

"_**I made you a playlist of all of our songs."**_ I can see her eyes welling up with tears.

"_**Santana I love you so much."**_ My own tears have again broken free.

Santana brings my head up and cups my cheek giving me a soft and exploring kiss before slowly pulling away and reaching for my hand.

She leads me down the stairs gripping tightly to me as I do her. We are met at the bottom of the Lopez home by our parents, as we are both engulfed in a Berry-Corcoran-Lopez hug. When we finally come up for air there are no dry eyes just pure love being shown from tear stained cheeks.

"_**Mijas we are going to ride with Shelby and Rachel your dads are going to drive in their car. We figured that you and Santana would want to ride alone so that you could have some time together."**_ Santana's mom tells us.

"_**Thanks Mami."**_ I say back. She always was so supportive and understanding. She would never let me call her Mrs. Lopez. I settled on Mami, she said it made her happy when I called her that.

"_**Honey, we will take your bags with us and load them on the train for you."**_

"_**Thanks dads."**_

With that they walk out of the door as Santana and I follow behind. She grabs my hand and kisses it as I look back at the house and whisper _**"goodbye".**_

We get into Santana's car and start to make our trip to the train station. It starts out silent until my heart starts to race and my breath gets caught in my throat. I feel the car stop and feel San's arms pull me closer to her engulfing me in their warmth.

"_**I can't do it Tana, I just can't. I love you too much to leave you."**_

"_**Baby stop right now. No one is leaving anybody. We are still in this together. It is still Rae and Snix against the world."**_ I smile softly at that.

"_**It will always be you and me baby, but for a little while we are going to be you and me in different places. It is going to be hard baby we both know that, but we are strong, and stronger because of each other. I can't stand the thought of being away from you but we have to do this Rae. We have to surrender to this together. This is your dream Rae, everything you have worked for. You deserve the chance baby. I know in the end no matter how much it hurts now, we will come out better because of it."**_

I take in her words, my panic has stopped. My grip from her is releasing.

"_**I surrender."**_ I sadly say.

"_**I surrender."**_ She sadly says back.

We held each other for only moments more when I let go and bring a cd out of my purse and hand it over to Santana.

"_**For you baby."**_ I say smiling through my tears.

She takes it from me and puts it in the disk player. As the first song starts to play my eyes start to spill over again. I decide to only quickly glance over at Santana because I just know that her eyes are chasing tears as well. I can't stand to see her cry, most of all when I know that she is hurting. I reach for her hand and we both hold on tightly as I muster up the strength to serenade the love of my life.

_**For you, there'll be no more crying,  
For you, the sun will be shining,  
And I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right**_

To you, I'll give the world  
To you, I'll never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds are singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before.

And I wish you all the love in the world,  
But most of all, I wish it from myself.

And the songbirds keep singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before, like never before.

By the time we get to our song which is #3 on my present to Santana we have made it to the train station. We are both shaking. We decide to sit there in each other's warmth for a moment longer and listen to our _**"Mine"**_ together. After it plays out she turns the car off and gets out and makes her way over to my side. She then moves to open my door. I hesitate before she reaches out for my hand. I stand up only to feel my knees buckle. Before I can go down I feel her arms under my knees lifting me as I bury my face in the crook of her neck. She carries me until we come to the stairs of the boarding area and then gently puts me down and puts her arm around my waist to brace me as I do the same to her to keep her up.

As we reach the top of the stairs, I look up to see everyone that means so much to me, everyone who has helped me in some way, shape or form mold my dream. She walks me slowly though the line of people so that I can tell them my goodbyes, until I come to Quinn. Santana slowly releases my hand and gives me some time with my best friend.

"_**Rach, I will miss the hell out of you. Remember to be strong, and be great because I will not accept anything less from my best friend. Call and text me anytime, as I will you. I love you Rach."**_ She engulfs me in a hug and holds on tight, as we cry into each other's shoulders.

As I walk to each person, I catch a glimpse of Santana at the end of the line, her hands clutched tightly together and her head down.

"_**Be safe Mija, we love you."**_ Santana's parents whisper to me as they take me into their arms.

"_**We love you Rachel, you call us when you get there, and here is the address to your new place honey."**_ My dad's say each giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"_**Sweetie, I love you. You call me if you need anything."**_ My mom says before giving me a peck on the cheek and a warm hug. I could not be happier having her back in my life.

I finally make it to the end…to Santana. She is looking up at me now with outstretched arms and tear stained cheeks.

She walks me slowly to the threshold, as we whisper to each other and after a brief hug I'm boarding my seat and starring out of the window. I see Quinn consoling Santana and as the train starts my very shaken girlfriend pulls away from Quinn to try to keep up pace with the train. She tries so hard but the train is just too fast….

And just like that…she is gone.

(This is story is almost coming to an end probably by the next chapter. However, I do have ideas for a sequel. If you guys would be game for a sequel let me know after you read how this one ends. I will hopefully have it up here in the next day or so...I thank all of the followers of this story for all of your support.)


	10. Chapter 10 Home

Chapter 10 Home

It's been three weeks now since I left the confines of small town Lima, Ohio and headed her to New York City. I could easily tell anyone that I am adjusting well…but I would be kidding myself. I mean I have fully unpacked and placed things where I want them to go in my new place but there is still something very off about the place. I'm lonely. I miss her terribly. I miss her smell, her laugh, her touch. I dream about being in her arms every night, but then I wake up and the realization is there once again as it had been there the last three weeks. I try really hard not to miss her as much. I try to distract myself from thinking about her every moment of everyday as I am sure she is doing as well. But it's hard. She is my life and right now a part of me is missing.

We talk once a day on the phone and text each other every spare minute we have. The best times we share are when we have our dinner dates via Skype, three times a week. We dress up in our date night clothes and enjoy each other's company and talk about our future together. We know we will still have one together; there is no doubt in any of our minds. We just have to get past this first. We still cry when we talk to each other, I just wish I could hold her when she breaks down, just as I wish I could be in her arms when I do the same. One day at a time I keep telling myself.

I look at the clock on my end table and see that it is almost 10am, Santana should be calling soon. Just like clockwork, the girl is never late. I chuckle to myself.

"_**Hey baby girl."**_ She says happily.

"_**Hey, how are you today?"**_ I say back.

"_**Doing okay, I got good news."**_ I can tell she is lying when she tells me she is doing well, because I can hear the crack in her voice.

"_**Oh yeah what's that."**_ I say excitedly.

"_**I nailed the summer clinic; coach wants me to be head cheerleader."**_

"_**Wow that's great, I knew you could do it."**_

"_**Yah you know I am one BAMF."**_

"_**That you are Tana, but you remember you are my BAMF."**_ I say, not realizing that I am choking back my emotions.

"_**Rae baby…always."**_ She says choking back her own set of emotions.

"_**San, I miss you. So so much."**_ My tears have made an appearance…damn I didn't want to do this to her.

"_**I know sweetheart, please don't cry. I miss you too baby."**_ She says fighting her own tears.

"_**I'm so sorry Tana; I tried so hard not to cry."**_

"Rae_** don't every be sorry for crying."**_

"_**I love you so much Santana." **_

"_**I know you do Rae, but not as much as I love you."**_ She says sobbing.

"_**Not possible baby."**_ I say with a small laugh.

She lets me win that one, when she doesn't fight me on it. This is a rare victory for me.

"_**I have news too."**_

"_**Really Rae, tell me please."**_

"_**Remember when I was telling you last week that NYADA is hosting a summer showcase, well it is tomorrow."**_

"_**Yes I remember…are you getting excited...have you picked your song yet."**_

"_**Actually I have, do you want me to sing you a little bit?"**_

"_**Yes please Rachel, I have missed your singing so much."**_

I can hear Santana on the other side of the phone shifting a bit while she is on the phone. She must be getting comfortable. I take out my lyrics and sing her a bit of the song that I decided that I will perform for tomorrows showcase.

_**So many things to do and say**_

_**But I can't seem to find my way**_

_**But I wanna know how**_

_**I know I meant for something else**_

_**But first I gotta find myself **_

_**But I don't know how**_

_**Oh why do I reach for the stars? **_

_**When I don't have wings to carry me that far**_

_**I gotta have roots before branches**_

_**To know who I am before I know who I wanna be **_

_**And Faith to take chances to live like I see**_

_**A place in this world for me.**_

By the time I finish the verse of the song I can here Santana sobbing into the phone as I am as well.

_**"What do you think Tana?"**_

"_**I think that you sound amazing Rae. The song is perfect. I wish I could be there to see you."**_

"_**I'm sorry I made you cry San."**_

"_**It's ok, it's just because I love you and miss you so much."**_ She says still fighting tears.

"_**I know me too."**_ I tell her.

"_**Rae, are we going to be okay." **_She says with what I can only describe as fear in her voice.

"_**I have no doubts."**_ I say looking down at the promise ring that Santana gave me at prom.

"_**I love you, but I have to go, I have practice in an hour."**_

"_**Ok San, I love you too."**_

"_**Rae, call me after your showcase ok baby."**_

"_**Yes."**_

And with that I hear the line go dead. I spend the rest of the day and the next trying to figure out what I am going to wear to the summer showcase. If Santana were here with me she would have something picked out for me already. She was always finding the perfect thing for me to wear... She was like my own personal fashionista…I have to get that out of my head because we won't be together for a while. I just can't keep myself from thinking about her. She my love…my life…I am nothing without her. She keeps me grounded when she is around, however when she is not I can feel myself sinking.

It is finally the day of the showcase and I am actually not really that nervous at all…

I decide to leave for the showcase a little early. I have not gotten my daily phone call from Santana because she said she needed to take care of a few things, but I did promise to call her tonight after the showcase. I have gotten text messages from her though which is nice…although there is one that I got that was kind of confusing, and I could not get her to elaborate, I guess she figured out that she already told me she got her head cheerleader position in our last phone conversation together.

It simply stated.

"I GOT IN."

Hmm maybe she forgot she told me, in any rate I sent her a "congratulations", and an "I love you" and then told her that I was headed to showcase when she sent me a "break a leg" back.

I get to the showcase stage and look at the performance sheet to see when I will be going on. I am glad that I am not first. I will be the 5th of 10 people that will be performing tonight. I take a seat in the auditorium and take in the area around me. It really is a beautiful place. So many lights to illuminate it, so much like a real Broadway stage. I am mesmerized. I am knocked out of my dazed state with the pulsing of my phone going off in my pocket.

"_**Hey Rach, hope you are doing alright, I miss you…Have you talked to S, did she tell you the news?"**_

I shoot her back a quick text.

"_**Hey Quinnie, miss you too, yes I am so excited for her, she always loved being head cheerleader."**_

"_**? Ok, anyway love you. Gotta go."**_

Then my phone goes off again and this time it's Brittany.

"_**I love and miss you Rachie…You must be so happy for Sanny."**_

"_**Of course Brit Brit, she is now the Kentucky BAMF… she told me…lol"**_

"_**Ok? bye Rachie."**_

I am always so happy to get my messages from them, I hear from everyone at least three times a week. I miss them so much, but at least I still hear from them. I can't help but wonder if I missed part of the conversation between Santana and me this morning. I have to remind myself to ask her about that later.

Wow these first couple performances are really good, I am not so sure that I should have even tried to do this, I mean this early in the game. I must have missed the last performance because before I know it my name is being called to the stage. My nerves are visible as I get out of my seat and wait behind the stage as I wait for the singer before me to finish.

I straighten out my long red dress and adjust the strap on my 4 inch black heels; I let out a small laugh at my chosen attire. Santana would really love this look. I decide to take my phone out and ask one of the stage hands to take a quick picture of me so that I can send it to my girlfriend…I send the pic with a quick text that says..."For You." I get an immediate reply back…"Simply Stunning, and a great color I might add." Well I do know that red is her favorite color. I send her a quick "thank you" with a smiley face before I am taken on stage.

I tell the pianist my selection and introduce myself.

"_**Hi my name is Rachel Berry and I will be singing, Roots Before Branches."**_

Then my music starts.

_**So many things  
To do and say  
But I can't seem  
To find my way  
But I wanna know how  
I know  
I'm meant  
For something else  
But first  
I gotta find myself  
But I don't know how**_

Oh, why do  
I reach for the stars  
When I don't have wings  
To carry me that far?

I gotta have  
Roots before branches  
To know who I am  
Before I know  
Who I wanna be  
And faith  
To take chances  
To live like I see  
A place in this world  
For me

As I sing my heart out to the crowd, there are tears streaming, because behind the words I am only thinking of one person…Santana. I am singing this song not to the crowd watching me, but to her…my love.

_**Sometimes  
I don't wanna feel  
And forget the pain  
Is real  
Put my head  
In the clouds  
Oh, start to run  
And then I fall  
Thinkin'  
I can't get it all  
Without my feet  
On the ground**_

There's always a seed  
Before there's a rose  
The more that it rains  
The more I will grow

I gotta have  
Roots before branches  
To know who I am  
Before I know  
Who I wanna be  
And faith  
To take chances  
To live like I see  
A place in this world  
For me

I am visibly shaken, but my voice is holding up. I am so emotional and the tears are uncontrollable as I take in the words of this song and what I interpret it to mean. I pull myself through it and finish out the song, thinking of Santana.

Whatever comes  
I know how to take it  
Learn to be strong  
I won't have to fake it  
Oh, you're understandin'  
The wind can come  
And do it's best  
Blow me North and South  
East and West  
But I'll still  
Be standing  
I'll be standing

I gotta have  
Roots before branches  
To know who I am  
Before I know  
Who I wanna be  
And faith  
To take chances  
To live like I see  
A place in this world

I gotta have  
Roots before branches  
To know who I am  
Before I know  
Who I wanna be  
And faith  
To take chances  
To live like I see  
A place in this world  
For me

I gotta have  
Roots before branches

When the song ends I take my bow and when I get behind the stage, I do the only thing I can think to do at that time…I run...I don't know where I am running to I just know I need to run…I need to escape…I can't breathe…I run until I see something familiar…I sit down and clutch my chest…I pull out my phone and call her.

"_**Hey, how did it go?"**_

"_**San…" **_I say out of breath.

"_**Oh God what's wrong…Rae…talks to me…" **_she says worried

"_**I…can't…breathe…"**_

"_**Rae calm down…I need you to listen to my voice and calm down baby...for me…"**_she says realizing that I am having a panic attack.

"_**I…can't…I…can't…" **_I say as I cannot get any words to form.

"_**Where are you Rachel?"**_

"_**By…our…fountain…"**_

"_**Okay baby concentrate on the water…take in its beauty…and try to calm down."**_

"_**I…lied…to…you…Tana…I…lied…"**_

"_**What do you mean baby, what's wrong…what did you lie about?" **_she says even more worried…I can hear her trying to be strong for me.

"_**I…said…we…would…be…okay…but…Tana…I…am…not…okay…not …without…you…I…need…you…I…want…to…be…where…you…are …"**_

"_**Oh Rae, I would love that more than anything baby, I want to be with you too, I am lost without you too sweetheart...we will though baby, we will be okay…my heart says so."**_

With the sound of her voice I am starting to calm down…my chest still hurts but I can form full sentences. I take in what she is saying and thinking back to the song that I sang.

"_**Tana, the song I did in showcase tonight it was for you…I tried so hard to get through it without crying but I couldn't and I didn't realize until it was over why it was so hard for me to get through it."**_

"_**Why baby, please talk to me." **_She cannot stop her tears.

"_**Tana the song says you gotta have roots before branches…all this time everyone told me that I had to come to New York and chase my dreams, but Tana New York isn't my dream, it just happens to be the sight of the profession that I want to pursue. My dream involves you Santana…you are my dream baby. Being your wife someday, carrying your children, growing old with you is my dream. Not this…Broadway is my branch…but you Tana you are my roots. I am nothing without you, and I don't want this without you… …this is all not worth it without you. If your home is in Kentucky baby then that is where I am going…because nothing seems right without you…I am not home without you Santana…the song says roots before branches baby...I need you before I can get to where I am supposed to be." **_After I finally finish getting it all out I break down.

"_**Rae…I want all of those things with you too, baby I need you to calm down and listen to me…can you do that baby…I really need you to hear this sweetheart."**_

"_**Okay…baby…"**_ I say barely able to get anything out.

"_**I love you more than anything baby and you are right baby…nothing seems right for me without you either baby. I never knew love, I mean deep unconditional love until the day I met you. You took a chance with me after every horrible thing that I did to you…together we have built this incredible love and whereas it is too strong for anything to tear it down…we need each other…I need you too baby…I cannot go another day without you…" **_I can hear her trying to compose herself.

"_**What are we going to do San?" **_I say tears still falling.

"_**Sweetheart do you remember the first song we did together in glee?"**_

"_**Yah…We Found Love."**_ I say.

"_**Do you remember how you felt when we were singing together, because I do? My heart always knew who it wanted; it was the rest of me that had to catch up…you have always been home to me Rachel."**_

"_**What are you saying Santana?" **_I say questionably.

"_**I'm saying turn around gorgeous." **_

Oh my god what is she saying…my heart is beating so fast. I turn back around and look to the other side of the fountain and there standing just beyond it is my love…my life…my Santana…I catch a glimpse of some other familiar faces…the whole glee club there along with Santana's parent and my mom…

"_**What…How?"**_

"_**Berry**** just hangs up the phone and gets your cute little ass over here."**_ She says laughing.

Before I can reach her I catch a glimpse Puck holding his guitar and he has starting strumming a familiar song and he is walking along side Santana, while everyone else is following behind. As she is walking towards me I hear her singing.

_**Hold on, to me as we go  
As we roll down this unfamiliar road  
And although this wave is stringing us along  
Just know you're not alone  
Cause I'm going to make this place your home**_

Settle down, it'll all be clear  
Don't pay no mind to the demons  
They fill you with fear  
The trouble it might drag you down  
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone  
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

As we finally get within a few arm lengths of each other I hear the rest of my friends chime in on the song with Santana.

_**Settle down, it'll all be clear  
Don't pay no mind to the demons  
They fill you with fear  
The trouble it might drag you down  
If you get lost, you can always be found**_

We finally get within an arm length of each other and she reaches for me while singing out the last two lines…with her tears coming down hard.

_**Just know you're not alone  
Cause I'm going to make this place your home**_

When she finishes up her song I jump into to her arms locking my legs around her waist and holding on with everything that I have.

"_**Santana please tell me I am not dreaming."**_ I have to be sure. She gives me the softest and most beautiful smile.

"_**Rae you are not dreaming…I got into NYU, my letter came last week, I wanted to surprise you after your showcase, we were all watching you from the back row, I wanted to meet you backstage but I got back there just as you had turn to run."**_

"_**Oh my God San…you got in…that is what everyone was talking about…I thought it was about your head cheerleading spot."**_

"_**It's was a surprise…in any case I would have come anyway…you are my life too you know."**_

After I am able to shake off the initial shock of what Santana is telling me I see the bunch that accompanied her inching closer to us.

"_**How did you guys…"**_ I am cut off with a big hug from Quinn.

"_**We missed you too Rach…plus school doesn't start for another couple weeks…we didn't want to miss seeing S off and getting a chance to see you again before we all get busy with college and stuff." **_Quinn says.

"_**Mija she couldn't be without you either…her letter came and I was so happy for the two of you…I know that you two will do great things together."**_ Santana's mother says as she and Santana's father have us in a tight hold.

"_**Rachel, you did great up there…you look so incredibly beautiful and your voice honey…was flawless." **_

"_**Thanks Mom." **_I say as she joins the Lopez's and give us a tight hug.

"_**Hey rents and friends you might want to turn around I wants to finally kiss my girl." **_She says with a smirk and then turns back to me with a smile.

I watch as everyone turns around, except for Puck, he knows what is coming…he just shoots me a lopsided grin…then there is it, the closeness that I have been longing for and missing in the past few weeks…when her lips touch mine, there is want…and need all rolled up in this package of passion and exploration. We come up for air, and turn around to see that everyone is watching with tears and smiles…then Mercedes speaks up before we can go in for round two.

"_**Well hell we have to party before we all get on the plane tomorrow night and go our separate ways."**_

"_**That's right Cedes, we's gots to go and gets our drinks on."**_

"_**Santana Maria Lopez, you better not be drinking anything with alcohol in it…" **_Santana's father says with a scowl.

"_**Oh no Papi, only soda."**_ She says stunned, as everyone starts shooting her looks that simply said_**…"Busted"**_

I just smile and silently laugh and hold on to her hand as tight as I can as she does the same…I have never been this happy…I never knew I could love as much in any given moment as I do right now. I look up and catch her eyes, and her stunning smile.

"_**I love you Santana Maria Lopez."**_

"_**I love you more Rachel Barbra Berry." **_

We just stare into each other's eyes seeing all of the love that is filling up within them, until we are interrupted when Puck throws an arm around me.

"_**So my Jewish American Princess where is the hot spot."**_

"_**Well Puckerman take your pick there something around every corner but if you want karaoke..." **_I say with a giggle and a smirk.

"_**Let's do it." **_ Santana says with her own signature smirk.

The parents are giving us their goodbye and be carefuls and they head over to the hotel that they had gotten for the night. They decided not to join us so that we could have time with our friends, before they all headed back to their colleges. I turn to Santana as we are making our way to the Karaoke bar.

"_**I can't believe this is really happening."**_

"_**Well believe it, because I am never letting you get away from me again."**_ She says as she kisses my forehead.

When we get to the bar, which is more like a family restaurant but hey they got karaoke so it's good for us, everyone takes their turn on the stage. Santana and I are last to go and we decide there is only one song that we can sing that will really just bring this day all together. We of course sing our song. After it ends we are met with tons of hugs from our friends and a standing ovation.

After a few hours out together, our friends start to head to the hotel room that they had gotten for the night…actually my dad's had paid for everyone to come…I have to remind myself to thank them. I had told everyone that they could all come stay at what would now be mine and Santana's place, but was kind of glad that they all declined. Santana and I had a lot to make up for and I was really glad that we would be alone.

We walk up the stairs to our new home, and I grab the keys from my purse, as soon as I get the door unlocked I feel my knees come out from under me as I realize that Santana is now carrying me. She walks us through the front door, slightly nudging it with her foot to close it, I reach back to lock it. She looks around a bit until she eyes what she is looking for.

She walks me slowly to the bedroom…our bedroom and places me softly on the bed. She leans down placing soft kisses on my neck, my cheeks, my lips and then my collarbone. God I have missed this…her hands come up to grip my cheeks and she pulls me into a passionate and wanting kiss. Our tongues explore the territory they have been longing to touch since being parted. My hands tangle in her beautiful raven locks and bring her further into me.

Then she gently pulls away.

"_**First things first honey."**_ She says as she gets up and makes her way to the en suite.

She goes to start some water in the bathtub, when she comes back out she holds her hand out for mine and I go in for it. Once we reach the bathroom, she turns me around so that she can unzip my dress.

"_**Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"**_

"_**I would rather you show me Tana." **_I say with all of the love I have for her.

As my dress falls to the floor, her hands skim the newly naked skin of my back. I am still turned away from her and I shiver as I feel her lips peppering kisses up my spine. I have missed this so much. She moves to unclasp my bra and traces her finger along my collarbone, before moving her hands down to my boy shorts, all the while kissing down my sternum, then to my stomach, and stopping at my belly button, she looks up at me before removing my last piece of clothing. I move my hands to her, slowly lifting her hands above her head, and then I slowly trail my fingers down the length of her shirt and slowly pulling it up above her head. I trail kisses down her neck as I hear her moan and gasp…I got her spot…I smile at the thought.

I slowly trail my hands down her killer abs and newly exposed tan skin and reach her black skinny jeans. I place kisses along her hips and give her navel some attention, I love when she wears jewelry in it. I unfasten her belt and then pop the button on her jeans as I look at her…we are both smiling. I hear her moan as I slowly inch her jeans down taking her own boy shorts with them and kicking them aside.

"_**Me first."**_ She says with a smile as she slips in to the hot tub. When she settles into a comfortable spot she holds her hand out for mine and I join her, settling my body between her legs and leaning back as far into her as I can get. Her hands reach around to hold on to me as I move my hands to rest on top of hers.

"_**I never want to go another day without you holding me Tana."**_ I say looking up to her and placing a kiss on her chin.

"_**Never again sweetheart."**_ She says kissing my forehead.

We lay there in each other's arms until the water turns cold. I step out first and then reach to help her out. After we dry off she picks me up, much like she did when we came home. She lays me softly in the middle of the bed and slowly inches up to me. I part my legs so that she can settle between them.

_**"Make love to me Tana." **_I say as I capture her soft lips in a kiss.

We made love to each other and then made love to each other again. Letting go of all of the tears and the panic and the wanting and the needing that came with the time that we spent apart. It was amazing and beautiful and full of love. I look at my ring as I move to hold her and I am reminded of all of her promises that she made to me and all of them she is keeping…I don't know what I did to deserve such love in my life…I will never understand how I deserved someone as special and as giving as her.

"_**I can feel you thinking baby." **_She says relaxed.

"_**Sorry, I'm just so happy."**_

"_**Me too." **_She says as she places a kiss on my cheek.

"_**San, this finally feels like home." **_I tell her sleepily

"_**Home for me has always been where you are." **_She says in her own sleepy voice.

"_**I love you Tana."**_

"_**I love you too Rae."**_

She slowly brings the covers up to are still naked bodies and entangles her hands in mine as I settle my back into her front as we hold on to each other…as sleep overtakes us….

And just like that…we are gone…

But this time…_**TOGETHER**_

FIN

So honestly how do you readers feel about a sequel…I have some great ideas…I am really excited with how this Pezberry story came together…and I am hoping that you will stick with me on my future…fics…Thanks for all of the follows and support…and stay tuned…I do feel a sequel coming, as I have already gotten some positive feedback…thanks again for reading


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